a pirates life for me

People who go on baby name sites

we need this to be a pie chart where the ‘expecting parents’ is just a thin sliver and the other two share 99% of the space.

Madaleine L’Engle  (via thewritingrealm)

Before & After Pics Show The Difference A Day Of Adoption Can Make To A Shelter Pet

im crying tears of jesus 

cry.. ing… rn…

Writing fanfic

Mixing tenses

Losing focus

Doubting myself as a writer and a human being

SO MUCH LADY LOVE

I LOVE GISELLE YOU GUYS 

No, but what gets me in this movie

is that every woman is beautiful to Giselle.

Women who wear suits and aren’t cute and petite. Women with wide hips and large rear ends and small breasts. Women who are black and white and every other ethnicity she came across, I’m sure. Women with straight hair and natural hair and grey hair. Older women and middle-aged women and young women.

Everyone is beautiful to Giselle. There’s no reason anyone wouldn’t be beautiful. There’s no reason beauty should ever be just one thing, that being a princess should ever be just one thing.

Everyone is a princess to Giselle, and if one of the princesses politely corrected her and said they were a prince she’d probably nod earnestly and talk about how dashing and handsome they looked too.

Are you fucking kidding me? Like, no, Shakespeare wouldn’t tweet a sonnet cause 140 characters is a bit short for that. Wrong medium. But you know what he would have? A very active twitter FULL OF DICK PUNS AND YOUR MOM JOKES okay. (And probably also a blog for the sonnets and longer works, that cross-posts links to twitter anyway.)

Get out of here with that pretentious anti-technology bullshit.

He’d rock the fuck out of memes. Don’t deny it.

Exit, pursued by a doge. much run wow 

I don’t understand people who try to make Shakespeare into a pretentious thing cause he was basically an uneducated dick-joke making dude for the common masses. His historical plays are straight up fanfiction. There’s a scene in Macbeth where two guards are having a conversation as a dude pees on a wall. Get out of here with your Shakespeare snobbery.

Like many other things, we can blame the Victorians and their insistence that anything important also be respectable for Shakespeare snobbery. The man had an undeniable impact on the English language and English literature. He also liked to write dialogue that reads like Ye Olde Lockre Roome Banter. These things are not mutually exclusive!

I, a big wrinkle, made all of these smaller wrinkles.

OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOD

See how unique, custom 3D printed prosthetics allow Derby the dog to run for the first time.

Video: Derby the dog, Running on 3D Printed Prosthetics

PHOTOS OF PUPPIES TAKEN WITH A FISH-EYE LENS: THE PHOTOSET

Waughmp waughmp

look at this wild monster

Baby Nala plying with a ribbon

bunnybunnybunnybunny

boom

Holy shit turn on the audio

PLEASE TURN ON THE AUDIO

OMG

FUCKIN BEDS MAN

THIS ONE IS LIKE A FUCKIN EGG AND IT CAN LIGHT UP AND IT’S CUSHY

THIS ONE’S ALL SUSPENDED AND SCIENCE-Y

THIS ONE LOOKS NATURISH BUT THEN IT’S LIKE BAM AND HAS THESE LITTLE ICE PLASTIC SHIT GOIN ON IT’S SO COOL

THIS ONE HAS A FUCKING SNUGGLE CORNER UNDER THE STAIRS

BOING BOING MOTHERFUCKERS

SHIPPITY SHIP SHIP

HERES ONE WITH A FUCKIN NEST IF YOU LIKE THAT SHIT

BEDS

every day the same telemarketing company calls us. I’ve asked to be taken off their calling list, I’ve tried to be civil, I’ve even tried to not answer the phone, yet they’ll keep calling. So now I’ve resorted to making the phones calls as annoying as possible for them.

Today I asked the person to hold while I got a pen and paper. As of now, they’ve been waiting 45 minutes.

Update:

I just asked him if he was still there, then when he said yes i told him i had found a pen but no paper, but that i’m still looking. It’s been an hour.

I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN ON TUMBLR AND YOUTUBE WHILE THIS GUY WAITS. IT’S BEEN ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF

Update:

After an hour and 35 minutes I told him that i had found paper, but my pen was dead. He hung up. Ah well, i’ll just do it again tomorrow!

You are the future

As a former telemarketer, I can tell you that the only reason that guy hung on the line for so long was because he didn’t really want to make any more calls anyway and was probably reading a book or chatting with friends while you pretended to find paper and pen. He was enjoying your mischief as much, if not more, than you were. You literally gave this guy an acceptable reason to take an hour and a half break. You are his hero. He likely only finally hung up because it was officially his break time anyway. He probably told all his co-workers about your call and they’ll be laughing about it for weeks.

Holy shit, is this a happy ending to a post where everybody actually wins?