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Cartoon Mayor

@zombee / zombee.tumblr.com

i write ofmd AUs / 30s, queer, white, autistic, usa
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Our Flag Means Death AUs

I’m CartoonMayor on AO3, and here are my OFMD fics!

This Could Be Love

Rated E, 16k words

Ed is an ex-Olympic skier and the special guest at Stede's corporate retreat. Stede's a divorcee who's been lying about a boyfriend. But they didn't book Ed a room... and there's only one bed.

(fake dating; only one bed)

Blood Under the Skin

Rated E, 33k words

When Prince Stede Bonnet saw his betrothed for the first time, he very nearly blushed.

(arranged marriage; medieval)

Rise and Grind

Rated E, 29k words

Ed propositions the man with the curls one night at his bar for some casual fun. When Curls turns out to be the owner of the new queer cafe down the block (and also Ed’s dream man), things get a little complicated.

(coffeshop; pining while fucking)

Take Back Your Mink

Rated E, 39k words

Ed is a high-powered executive who hires Stede as an escort to pretend to be his partner to boost his image within his company.

(pining while fucking; angst with a happy ending)

You Make Me Live

Rated E, 33k

Ed and Stede have been best friends for ten years when Stede has to leave him behind to go to college. Ed will join him when he's graduated next year, but in the meantime, Stede's life is going to change a whole, whole lot.

(childhood friends to lovers; gender non-conforming Stede)

Smutty Gentlebeard one shots

36 one-shots of smutty fun, ranging from 1.5k - 16k

Smutty Gentlebeard not-quite-one shots

Little too long to be one shots, little too simple to have their own recs. Featuring monsterfucking, medieval AUs, and fake dating in Vegas (so far)

to be the darkness behind your shining star

Rated E, 42k words

Edward, god of the dead, kidnaps Stede, god of spring. Greek Mythology ensues.

(greek gods; lore olympus adjacent)

Our Flag Means Undeath

Rated E, 32k words

A What We Do in the Shadows AU. In which Stede is kind of Nandor, Ed is kind of Guillermo, and Buttons is definitely Colin Robinson.

(vampires; pining)

The Prince and the Pirate

Rated E, 67k words

Prince Stede of Bonnet is en route to be married to the King of Low when his ship is overtaken by pirates. Stede offers himself up to the Dread Pirate Blackbeard in exchange for freeing the rest of his people. He does not expect Blackbeard to propose marriage as a part of their agreement, but if it is a choice between the kind of monster Ned is and the kind of monster Blackbeard is, that is an exceedingly easy choice to make.

(marriage of convenience, pining while fucking)

#ofmd#our flag means death#blackbonnet#gentlebeard#ofmd fanfic#our flag means death fanfic#ofmd fic#our flag means death fic#my fic
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blackbeardskneebrace

hi gongeous

[ID: a drawing of Ed Teach from the shoulders up. He’s smiling softly, eyes crinkled up with smile lines. His hair is in two braids with some strands escaping near his face, and there are two white flowers in his hair to the right of his face. He’s wearing a purple tshirt and pearl necklace. There are a few scattered sparkles on the pale purple background, around Ed’s face and hair.]

#ofmd
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reblogged
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devilray-art

big stretch

This is for the fellow tummy enthusiasts (don’t worry there’s two more on the page that I’ll post when they’re completed)

#yep#ofmd
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reblogged
forpiratereasons
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stedebonnets
“You know, Ed… I don’t know if I, uh, well… agree that a ship can only have one captain.”
“Yes, well, I suppose if you found the absolutely two perfect people, then they could potentially…”
“Co-captain?” “Co-captain.”
“We said the same thing.”
#ofmd
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whim-prone
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doyoulikethissong-poll

These are the songs you all have chosen as winners of the Showdown polls for the second round of a hundred songs. There's 11 songs listed due to a tie. :)

What song did you personally like the best? Did a song make an impact right away or did it require the full version? Did the artist reveal change your opinion of the song itself for better or for worse? Tell me in a reblog!

(note: this is not a popularity contest or to vote for a favourite artist out of loyalty 💖 it's still about the song.)

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