My Blog Is Not A Safe Space
i put landmines everywhere and i have no fucking idea where i put them please fucking help me
@ravendorkholme / ravendorkholme.tumblr.com
i put landmines everywhere and i have no fucking idea where i put them please fucking help me
out of boredom i decided to scan a stuffed shark. here are the results.
your work is appreciated
op i spent entirely too long on this and im sorry
whoa dude when I heard about "radfems" I thought it would be some most radical females! 😍🤙
but these chicks are saying some bogus things about other babes 😬
I Don’t Wanna Dance with Nobody by Sub-Radio - the same band that made Stacy’s Dad
think my mum just sent me a whole buncha weed butter in the mail??
this is almost certainly weed butter
so it’s still technically unconfirmed that this is actually weed butter so im doing a science experiment - i made crepes with it and ate 6
lets wait an hour and see what happens
i asked my mum if it was weed butter hours ago and just after i made the last post she sent me this
maybe i shouldnt have ate six
ive never seen a more appropriate usage of this reference
What was your scientific conclusion
“shoes” the 2019 version [x]
this slaps tho lmao
I’ve always hated the mentality “Stop rewarding people for doing the bare minimum.” cause it’s almost always a justification for dragging someone back into a toxic mindset/community/etc, harassing people, and in general just being rude and mean to people for practically no reason.
I guess it depends on whether we’re talking about people learning how to be allies one lesson at a time and being really far behind and genuinely trying, or if we’re talking about say, dads who go viral because they can pour cereal into a bowl for their children and haven’t let one drown in the bath yet.
So there’s this huge dudebro in my class, who, yesterday, sat next to me. And I’m sitting there sweating because like… I’m wearing my shirt with the lesbian flag on it, and he’s the most popular jock in school, and always has this look on his face that say ‘I can and will kill you’. He looks me up and down, stares at me for a minute and then goes, “So. Girls in skirts and long socks, am I right?”
To which I nodded solemnly, both out of agreement, surprise and also a healthy amount of awkward fear. He nodded and went, “You get it.”
I said, “Yep.” He fistbumped me, and on went our lives.
Oh! I forgot to mention! I saw him at lunch the same day, and he ran up to me, tapped me on the shoulder, pointed at this super sweet girl who comes to GSA and asked if she’s gay. I told him he should ask her because that’s not my place and he said he would.
I thought that would be the end of it.
Except ten minutes later he came back and told me he found out (she’s bi) and that both of us have a shot. I said “You more than me.” because he’s attractive and popular.
But this wholesome dumbass looked really confused and asked, “Because I’m tall?’
So this isn’t lesbian/jock solidarity but I thought you guys would want to know-
My math teacher was trying to fix the rolling whiteboard and he just offhand said “This would be easier with a wrench”
And deadass, dudebro said “Hang on” and then proceeded to pull a fucking wrench out of his backpack
Update- after school today he saw me in the library and he didn’t say anything? He just pointed at the book he was holding and I gave him a thumbs up because it’s a pretty good book, and he went “Yes!” Really quiet and pumped his fist and then left
Okay so today he asked me if I know how to help people having a panic attack and I was like yeah? And he smiled at me and then went “cool I think I’m having one”
And I was like what the fuck Colin we’re in the middle of Tech class sit down and we went out in the hall and sat there for a while and he told me about the test he’s stressed about so we kind of went over his study guide and when he was feeling better he kind of like… smacked his head against mine gently? And I helped him up even though he’s almost a foot taller than me and yeah
Today at lunch we walked to the football field and laid in the grass and I told him thank you for being my friend (because I don’t have that many) and fistbumped me and said, “You always looked so nice and chill, how could I not want to be your friend?”
And honestly y’all, I would’ve started crying if he hadn’t sneezed and accidentally smacked me
a creature with the head of a cow, the body of a cow and the wings of a cow
being a self-taught artist with no formal training is having done art seriously since you were a young teenager and only finding out that you’re supposed to do warm up sketches every time you’re about to work on serious art when you’re fuckin twenty-five
someone: oh yeah, do this exercise during your warm ups! it’ll help
me: my what
What’s up I have an actual college degree in art and I was never ONCE taught to do warm ups.
when i was in undergrad, it was kind of mentioned in and offhand way that we should do warmups, but we were never shown what that meant. And, y’know, we were young so it didn’t matter so much.
Being older now and having an art job it’s…kind of essential.
So: a quick primer for those of you who are like ‘ok but how do i actually go about doing this warmup thing.’
1) you may be tempted to do ‘a warmup drawing’ which is just a drawing that will take longer than it needed to and probably be frustrating and kind of bad because you didn’t warm up first. It’s tempting but always a trick your brain is playing on you! Do not trust!
2) warmups will vary based on what feels good to you/what task you’re about to do/what motor skills you want to practice. That being said, some good standbys:
a) circles. Just a whole page of circles on whatever drawing surface you’re going to be using, whether that’s your tablet or your sketchbook or a drawing pad on an easel. For these circles you should make sure that you’re drawing from your shoulder and not your wrist. In fact, you want to be drawing from your shoulder rather than your wrist most of the time! forever! your wrist is delicate please preserve it!
In order to ensure that you’re drawing from your shoulder, when you’re holding your pencil or whatever drawing tool you’re using, the only part of your hand that should be touching the drawing surface is part of the last two fingers–some people prefer the finger tips, but I tend to favor the first knuckles. Either way, the fingers should really be ghosting over the surface, providing guidance rather than support.
I usually start with big circles and then go to smaller circles and lines of ellipses, and then try to fit circles and ellipses inside other shapes i’ve already drawn as a precision exercise, but i don’t do that unless i’m feeling loose
b) spirals! i don’t always do spirals, but if i’m stiff and the circles just aren’t cutting it, spirals are a good fall back. I start from the center and work outward, going both clockwise and counterclockwise until i feel comfortable with the whole range of motion. Some people really care about getting perfect spirals but for me it’s all about making sure i’m comfortable with how i’m moving so who really even cares about how the spirals look. Not me!
c) lines! straight lines! in parallel! i do a mix of vertical, horizontal, and diagonal. These are often more from the elbow than the shoulder, especially if I’m working on a smaller surface. For this exercise, I recommend holding the drawing tool perpendicular with the surface
d) connect the dots. This is a precision and accuracy exercise and takes two forms. The first is to draw two dots and then draw a straight line between them. The second is to draw three dots and draw the curve that connects them. This sounds a lot simpler than it is in practice. Take time to ghost over the line you plan to draw before actually committing to your line. (I don’t always remember where I picked up my warm up exercises, but I’m pretty sure I got this one from Scott Robertson. His how to draw and how to render books are very technical but also accessible and worth checking out)
e) cubes, spheres, cones, and cylinders. These help get your brain into a more volumetric space. I draw multiples of each, rotating the forms around, and I’ll often take the time to do some rough shading on at least a few of them
f) spidermans! This one is really good if you’re going to be storyboarding or working on dynamic poses. Just fill a page full of spidermans doing all sorts of acrobatics.
g) beans. I don’t do beans too much anymore, but I know a lot of people like it so I’m mentioning it here. Fill an area with different size bean shapes without lifting your pencil off the paper.
h) short medium and long line repetition. draw a short, medium, and long line on your page, and then draw directly on top of them 8 to 12 times, doing your best to exactly trace what you’ve already drawing. Repeat with a wavy line. I’m bad at this one, which means I probably need to do it more.
And there are lots more options too! Hit up youtube to see what other people recommend, put together your own go-to list, mix it up when you’re getting bored, etc.
This is a long list, I know, but I usually don’t take more than 10 to 15 minutes to warm up, and I can warm up one handed while I’m drinking coffee, so, multitasking hurrah.
Sometimes I’ll advance to a precision warmup and find that I haven’t loosened up enough yet; it’s totally ok to go back to an earlier exercise! Also, all of this has the added benefit of kind of ritualistically getting you into the drawing mode so even if I’m not feeling it before I start, by the time I’ve gotten to the end I’m usually Ready For Drawin’. Brain hacks.
so, yeah! that’s a lot of words, but! Warmups are important! Save your joints, take less advil, do better drawings!
Mermaids LOVE shoes.
Many of the materials present in footwear can withstand deep sea pressure, hence why human remains in sunken ships disappear but the shoes don’t.
When fishing up an old boot, check inside for valuables, as a mermaid may have been using it as a bag.
In multiple mermaid languages, the words for “bag” and “footwear” are interchangeable. In a sense, it’s poetic, as footwear is needed to “carry” yourself on land.
Helping send out messages across the seven seas.
sailor: oh my god…thank you for rescuing me…I owe you my life…how can I ever repay you?
mermaid: *points to his feet*
sailor: I don’t under–
mermaid: give me your shoes
sailor: what?
mermaid: GIVE ME YOUR
sailor *taking off his shoes*: Why is my life like this??!?
Crocks dont sink though
Which means that obtaining crocs would be incredibly dangerous. A mermaid would have to risk exposing themselves to humans to get crocs from the surface. This means that only the most courageous of mermaids can get crocs. This would make crocs a LEGENDARY ITEM.
Imagine the King and Queen of the mermaids having their rooms decked out in crocs with rare plants dangling from the holes.
Imagine high ranking nobles having their weapons sheathed in crocs.
If a mermaid wished to marry a prince or princess, they must present a croc to the King and Queen.
ye awaken with a minty butthole
how do ye proceed
Look butthole
ye spread ye cheeks to the nearest mirror. inside ye butthole is a bottle of DR. BRONNER'S PEPPERMINT SOAP
Take soap
ye attempteth to take ye soap out of ye butthole but ye buttholds fast
Look room
ye look around ye room. this is where ye sleep on a stinky matress without a bedframe or sheet to be found. on ye wall ye sees ye HUNKY FIRECHUNKS CALENDAR (2015), ye chest o'drawers has a record player with FLEETWOOD MAC - RUMOURS on the spindle, ye night stand has a small bottle of DR. BRONNER'S BUTTHOLE RELEASE cream. doors to ye bathroom and ye kitchen are both on ye north wall.
Use record player use record player
ye listen to the entirety of FLEETWOOD MAC - RUMOURS, playing THE CHAIN four times in a row, forgetting about ye minty butthole problems.
Look calendar
Ye narrator tires of using pseudo old timey speech and she suddenly abandons it. The HUNKY FIRECHUNKS CALENDAR is flipped to JULY 2015, on it there is a HUNKY FIRELAD, insanely toned wearing nothing but a fire helmet and a jock strap, he is partially submerged in a giant bowl of chili. Between his legs he straddles a large firehose, clearly a penis metaphor. His eyes look seductive but somehow, impatient. Like he has an important meeting to get to, a meeting with your genitals, perhaps? Oh also I guess you circled JULY, 17TH, 2015 for some reason but whatever.
Go kitchen
It's your kitchen. On your refrigerator sits a goblin. On the walls are two sexy calendars - both from 2015, one is SPICY FIREFIGHTIN' LASSES and the other is AGENDER ARSONISTS, maybe you wished to give the firefighters a purpose by giving them fires to fight? After all, what's a sexy hero without a sexy sexy villain? You don't have a stove, stop asking about the stove.
Hug goblin
You embrace the goblin. The goblin, touch starved, begins to cry on your shoulder.
high fantasy except. in exclusively shitty settings
a wizard stumbles up to you on the sidewalk outside 7/11 and gives you an epic quest
The beautiful Danielle Brooks. #SAGAwards
This is an unfair combination of a gorgeous woman and a phenomenal garment
😍😍😍😍
1. None of my family is on here
2. Barely anyone in my life knows the website even exists.
3. employers won’t ask for my tumblr handle
4. Website doesn’t post a “timeline” with laser-targeted ads about me.
5. Non-algorythmic feed. It lets me read shit in the order it was posted.
6. Can’t see other people’s follower counts. Big and small blogs interact/mix better, no one is idolized.
7. No one, absolutely no one, can manage to make money off us little shits