on another note: out of all the people who push bobbie’s buttons, why isn’t there anyone who calls her “bob”? i stg

will i ever come back to this blog?? YEAH LOL and then i’ll be like “accept me like i never left” B)

i think bobbie sue might be like, a permanant muse. she’s just maybe a weak one. poor bobbie.

!!!

it was fun for bobbie sue to be incredibly self-loathing for a while, (and she’ll always have bipolar disorder, that’s not something you grow out of) but i think i’m ready to change that for her.

bobbie sue’s big thing is she’s been waiting for a place to make herself at home... waiting for a coming-of-age opportunity... waiting for a chance to make something of herself, prove her worth, find love, find work, graduate from child to adult. she’s always been a believer of structure in life like that.

but no more. she’s giving up. (which is bittersweet, but what can you do?) she’s basically skipping it entirely. skipping learning who she is, what she wants. skipping learning how to be on her own, how to love herself, how to be confident, how to live on her own, live without a support system.

most importantly, she’s gonna start taking herself seriously. she doesn’t want to be the same neurotic little person she’s been seeing in the mirror for her whole life. her biggest wish has always been to become an independent person who others will take seriously and maybe even rely on, and she was waiting for life to teach her the lessons she needs to become that person but instead,

she’s just gonna do those things. fuck being taught, fuck relying on others, fuck hating herself and getting nothing out of it. she’s still going to struggle with self-loathing... you don’t just graduate from that kind of thinking without work. but she’s planning on making an actual effort to stop it, or at the very least rise above it.

basically, she smart. she’s skipping grades. happy new year and all that.

--> more explanation in another post.

ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

i have some ideas...