prioritize people how they prioritize you

Date someone you can be fucking weird as hell with who at the end of the day still wants to get naked with you.

do I focus on the long arm or shit yourself

really hoping trivia crack takes my reccomendation

this is literally your mum at the start of every pokemon game

Reblog if you're online and always follow back.

quinsaira:

A new religious statue in the town of Davidson, N.C., is unlike anything you might see in church.

The statue depicts Jesus as a vagrant sleeping on a park bench. St. Alban’s Episcopal Church installed the homeless Jesus statue on its property in the middle of an upscale neighborhood filled with well-kept townhomes.

Jesus is huddled under a blanket with his face and hands obscured; only the crucifixion wounds on his uncovered feet give him away.

The reaction was immediate. Some loved it; some didn’t.

"One woman from the neighborhood actually called police the first time she drove by," says David Boraks, editor of DavidsonNews.net. "She thought it was an actual homeless person."

That’s right. Somebody called the cops on Jesus.

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Since you have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto me.

I would punch you but that would be animal cruelty.

the world may never know

jaden smith has been here

So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized

Dr. Robert Evans

I looked it up

My dentist is Captain America’s dad

My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.

JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.

You would think that teenagers would be the rudest customers when really it’s mostly old, middle-aged people. 

Teens always look terrified as customers.

My pens <33