Fluent In Sarcasm

Ah! Hes the same guy who provides women selfies that they could use if they feel threatened!

A Full Face of Rhinestones

#listen I don’t watch Jenna Marbles#I’ve never subscribed to hr channel#but there’s one thing about her that I absolutely respect#she does NOT clickbait#she fucking COMMITS to whatever bull shit she says she’s gonna do#90% of her video titles LOOK like clickbait#but then the video is EXACTLY what the title says#how many balloons does it take to life my chihuahua off the ground#I DON’T KNOW JENNA WHY DON’T YOU FIND OUT#spends entire video reporting on increasingly annoyed Party City employees#as she ties over 100 helium balloons to a sling that her dog falls asleep in#while floating 4 feet above the ground#because she fucking found out how many balloons it took#‘MY DOG RATES SOAP’ says the video title#her Italian Greyhound has some kind of soap licking neurosis and shows clear preferences#by the end of the video her dog does indeed have a favorite brand of soap#I EAT DOG TREATS WITH MY DOGS#literally does exactly that and actually enjoys like 2 of them#I don’t follow her at all but DAMN does Jenna Marbles not fuck around#she just … does exactly what she says she will#like some kind of chaotic entity that combats clickbait by being exactly as absurd as the marketing implies

I love her so much

@ the water that drips down my arms when i wash my face and makes a big ass mess: fuckin fight me

reasons I’m still on this hellsite:

1) nowhere else I could find posts this specifically relatable

no greek god is inherently and wholly “good” or “bad” because they were all flawed and imperfect in some way with different facets of personality and character to serve as a reflection of society and human nature itself  

oh except for zeus he was a straight up absolute bastard

fuck zeus

do NOT. 

But what if they just happened to cast Andrew Garfield as the boyfriend in Deadpool 2, and someone in the movie is like, “hey, you look just like Peter Par-” but Deadpool tackles them before they can finish and then just looks directly at the camera and is like, “this is my boyfriend, Pete Parkley, and he is definitely not Spiderman because that would be a serious breach of licensing rights.” and then he just grabs Pete and tows him away by the suspicious red spandex collar poking out over the top of his T-shirt

Someone get this to Ryan Reynolds stat

i love that mayhem is a legal term. like u can be charged with mayhem. its like arresting someone for funny business

the jury finds the defendant GUILTY on all accounts of tomfoolery, japing and generally Taking the Piss

causing a ruckus

filmed my boss firing me from my sales position

What.

Whatever I just heard, make it into a TV show

This is the greatest thing I’ve ever seen

I’m about to make this house a little less full

I hope something unexpectedly good happens to you this week.

Why is this so funny

They look like three best friends at space camp oh my god 😩😭

the most legendary lyric of my generation tbh

reblog this in 3008

i’m prepared.

a scientist and an icon

But how can you leave out the line where our girl says “You didnt really think I was in love with you?”

Shit was iconic

here you go: