crow 64 expert

need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash

the sigma grindset is being born insane so people give you weed because they run out of other options to calm you down

post WHAT

when i was a child i thought ‘male enhancement’ pills just made you a better guy. they made you pleasant to be around. the man on the commercial had a big smile on his face and they made a point of how happy his wife was and everyone loved him. this is honestly what i thought

Why most of you think I am a good, polite, gentle, or kind cat🙀 WHY!?

“One more thing, sir. You told me you couldn’t possibly have been at the crime scene at that time on account of your alibi, that being that you were at home playing your PlayStation 3. Now, forgive me, but if that’s true, I just gotta ask– how could you have been playing your PS3 if the PS3 has no games?”

“Why, Lieutenant, the PS3 is backwards compatible with many PS2 games. I was simply playing one of my many PS2 games at the time of the murder. Surely you are at least familiar with Kingdom Hearts? I’d be happy to show you my save file if it would put your mind at ease.”

“Ah, gee. Kingdom Hearts… Yeah, that one’s a classic. one of the best ones, even. My wife loves that little Sora guy. No, I agree. You’re right, sir. I should’a thought of that. Well, I’ll get outta your hair, then. — Oh, one more thing…

I just remembered something you might find a little interesting. See, you’ve got one of those black models. With the top-loading tray. And those PS3 models are backwards compatible. … but only for PS1 games. Kingdom Hearts wasn’t on the PS1, though, was it? …”

“Oh… yes, how very… observant of you, Lieutenant. Well, I… suppose I must have been mistaken. My memory of that dreadful night - it’s all jumbled, you see. It must have been one of my other games from my PS1 library. Spyro, perhaps. Or– yes, now I remember. It was Final Fantasy 7 - the character of Cloud is in both that game and in Kingdom Hearts. I must have simply gotten my wires crossed. How silly of me.”

“All right, then. That explains it. Well, have a good night, then.  … Oh, uh… I figure I oughta let you know … we did have your memory card searched. We didn’t see Final Fantasy VII on there. Must’ve been a glitch or something. Might wanna get that checked.”

“Now, see here, Columbo, perhaps if you were spending more time looking for actual clues, rather than harping on my gaming habits, you might have caught the real killer by now!

If you have anything more to say to me, you can kindly say it to my lawyer.

So, if you’ll excuse me, I have a Twitch stream scheduled for noon, and I do not care to keep my followers waiting. Good day, sir.”

“Certainly, sir, I’ll be outta your way now. Oh, – gee. Gosh, I nearly forgot. I figured I’d mention. We did get one lead. On the murder, sir.

We determined from Mr. Elbertson’s autopsy that he was repeatedly beaten in the back of the head with a small, blunt object. No bigger than about 157 mm longways. Likely a, uh … analog gamepad of some kind. Dualshock, that’s what the lab boys told me. You got any idea what sorta console uses those? I only ask ‘cause you seem to know about these sorta things. What with you being– well, being a gamer.”

guy who explodes into blood and viscera to escape uncomfortable situations

educate yourselves

these are all my children

it's increasingly unsympathetic that the main complaint from the anti-fnv crowd is "it was buggy"

i could talk about how that's bethesda's fault but honestly it's like we're having an argument about literature and they just brought up a book's binding in relation to its literary value. these are two different arguments.

these people are baffled that you might value one piece of software as an artistic expression over its worth as a machine that produces satisfaction. it's transparent and juvenile

its getting towards that time of year where im gonna have to remind everyone that kink at pride discourse stems from right wingers trying to call gay people pedophiles and if you participate in it i will just block you

is anybody else getting Weed Ads.....weed is completely legal here and obv tumblr knows my state but i'm sooo curious if anyone else is getting them..

tumblr is a good web site

found a twitter tweet that was like "oh yeah content warning hatoful boyfriend has a lot of gore and violence" and every single person in the notes/retweets/qrts/whatever the fuck terms twitter has was going "WHAT THE FUCK IT HAS WHAT" and i find that hilarious because. large amounts of gore and violence is a tremendous understatement about the amount of stuff that goes down in hatoful boyfriend

my full trigger list for hatoful boyfriend (and its sequel), for anyone curious is:

just on the off chance anyone reading this doesn’t know what Hatoful Boyfriend is

i could fix him (the piece of media i just consumed that was poorly executed but had a good premise)

happy murdertooth monday