I Love You... Too Soon?

Why does the internet exist, if not for this?

When you die, you appear in a cinema with a number of other people who look like you. You find out that they are your previous reincarnations, and soon you all begin watching your next life on the big screen.

too much

My previous incarnations throwing popcorn at the screen and booing: this bitch is fucking stupid!!!

I SNORTED

no one told me there was a cat version

10 year old me: it’s just that I like being around girls more you know? Like boys are dirty. And girls have better hair and they’re nicer. I don’t have anything against boys its just that theyre not interesting to me. I have friends that are boys and we play monster trucks together but i really wish I was Jessica’s friend…i want to be her friend so bad. I want to braid her hair and buy her ice cream and ride bikes with her and love eachother but like just as friends.

Me now remembering 10yo me:

i love megan fox

AND NOW I WILL TOO

Stevie Knicks is absolutely a witch

@kazooie

Same Energy

I can’t stop thinking about this video. It’s a masterpiece. The mom holding down the baby’s hand closest to the flame, the fact that 3 people immediately said “Girl!” but aren’t that surprised, and the deadpan expression she makes directly into the camera. I love her.

I’m more focused on that gif. She deadss grab the bird by the neck on some real shit. 

imagine slow dancing to this w the girl you love in your kitchen.. pure heaven

Sex

this mix will never get old ever ever

@smokingsunflower

Man of the moment Keanu Reeves has shown his generosity by giving away £50 million of his earnings from the Matrix sequels. The 38-year-old decided to hand over the money to the unsung heroes of the sci-fi blockbusters - the costume and special effects teams.

*fistbump*

Confirmed.  He’s also dumped millions into cancer research.  I really do love Keanu Reeves a lot.

Keanu Reeves is like the nicest person. He still lives in an apartment/flat and he gives most of his money away to charities and people who need it. He even invites some paparazzi people to sit down and eat with him when he’s at a coffee shop or restaurant. He’s such a nice person.

When I was working on the UWS, one of my delivery guys accidentally backed his scooter into a parked car in front of the restaurant. I went out to help, since the driver didn’t speak much English, and it turned out the car belonged to Keanu Reeves. He helped us pick the scooter up, and when I asked if we could exchange insurance information (because the front of the car was pretty banged up), he kept telling us not to worry about it and put his hand on the driver’s shoulder and said “I just want to make sure you’re okay, man. Are you okay?” And he was so sincere about it and so kind that I decided in that moment I would always defend Keanu Reeves at all costs. He is an excellent man.

I need to be more like Keanu Reeves because I’m evil compared to him.

“Next few centuries”

Keanu dropping hints that he is an immortal.

i love keanu reeves

My wife and I were dining at Nobu’s in Honolulu and sitting across from us was Keanu or at least I thought it was. We kept talking about whether it was him or not and finally, I decided to throw some old school Bill & Ted at him.

I stood up and threw my arms up into the motion of an air guitar, my wife is begging me to sit back down, and I pointed at the guy who may be Keanu Reeves, and said, “Most Excellent.”

He stood up and did it back at me. Then we both had a moment and pointed at each other. I sent him another of whatever it was he was drinking. It was a cucumber sake martini. That was the end of it.

Or so I thought.

He left before we finished our meal. By the time we were done, dessert came that we didn’t order. We thought, “oh, must be compliments of the chef.” Then the bill never came. When we asked for it, our waitress said Keanu Reeves took care of it.

IT WAS REALLY HIM. And he left a note. It said, “thanks for the refresh. Keanu.”

When I finally saw him again years later, because of work. I brought it up. Then he air guitar and said, “most excellent. I remember. At Nobu’s. Thanks for the drink.” We chatted a bit and I got an autograph for my mum because she’s a huge Keanu fan. Then that was that.

What a moment.

An angel

And he does a lot of anti human trafficking work iirc. Seems like a really awesome guy.

Back when I first moved to NYC, I got a job as a theater usher. We were all young, 18-20 or so, and it was heavily impressed upon us that we needed to treat the theatergoers with TOTAL respect at ALL times or risk our jobs. As such, we were all totally underprepared for the drunk guy who tried to steal a bottle of wine from the lobby bar during intermission. We were trying to politely get the bottle back, but he was growing loud and belligerent. Since the second act was now starting, this was a countdown to all of us being in trouble. 

Then Keanu walks up. Calmly charms the guy. Slips the usher behind the bar cash to cover the bottle, without the guy even noticing, and walks him back in to his seat like it’s a normal thing he does every day. He didn’t know the guy, didn’t know any of us, but effortlessly deescalated the situation and quite probably saved some jobs that night. 

Just a wandering do-gooder, this man.

#everything i’ve ever heard anecdotally about keanu reeves #further convinces me that he is the chillest immortal #like he’s probably just spent centuries donating blood instead of drinking it (via @revolutionarygirlshati)

A gif for Mermay!

This gif actually, literally made me laugh out loud and send it to every group chat I’m in just to get yelled at. Thank you.

this pic is so funny cause when i made it i intentionally fried it a little bit but now its ACTUALLY gone round the internet and also been fried naturally. organic internet jpg frying

This finally clears things up.

all of these have the same energy