Things that work in fiction but not real life

This post breaching containment has taught me that a lot of people seem to think they can accurately profile complete strangers. For the record, no the fuck you can't.

I sit with my grief. I mother it. I hold its small, hot hand. I don’t say, shhh. I don’t say, it's okay. I wait until it is done having feelings. Then we stand and we go wash the dishes.

-- Callista Buchen, from Taking Care

"The trannies should be able to piss in whatever toilet they want and change their bodies however they want. Why is it my business if some chick has a dick or a guy has a pie? I'm not a trannie or a fag so I don't care, just give 'em the medicine they need."

"This is an LGBT safe space. Of COURSE I fully support individuals who identify as transgender and their right to self-determination! I just think that transitioning is a very serious choice and should be heavily regulated. And there could be a lot of harm in exposing cis children to such topics, so we should be really careful about when it is appropriate to mention trans issues or have too much trans visibility."

One of the above statements is Problematic and the other is slightly annoying. If we disagree on which is which then working together for a better future is going to get really fucking difficult.

Someone who says they don't care if dudes wear dresses and makeup is a better ally than someone who says they're a safe space for women and non-binary people. I am not joking.

yeah I went to a gay bar recently with my husband tumblr user beemovieerotica, and a VERY confused capital S Southerner straight man in cargo shorts and a trucker hat showed up

apparently he (who through my drunken memory I remember only as Earl) liked some woman, and she told him that he wasn't cultured enough and needed to attend his first drag show (she also flaked on him)

Now I'm reasonably androgynous and was wearing makeup, a short leather skirt, and black heeled boots, but still when this guy came up to me when I was standing off alone and asked "So. Do you come here often?" with a very earnest expression, I thought. Surely not. This guy doesn't think I'm a straight woman does he????

Anyway I start talking with this guy and he has no idea what the fuck is going on but he is just a very kind and earnest dude and asked a lot of questions (while asking if it was alright if he asked those questions). I track down my husband and friends and I'm like y'all. We need to make sure that Earl has a Good Fucking Time tonight.

Man was completely out of his depth. At one point they put on a puppy auction to raise money for Pride, that started with a 6 ft drag queen in all her glory leading a leather pup out on a leash to the tune of that damned RSPCA "in the arms of the angels" song

We look at Earl. Nervous. He squints, laughs, and then goes "I was wondering why people were dressed like that!" He turned to me and asked "So they're like dogs?" And I said yeah pretty much. And he just chuckled and went "Yeah I thought so with the tails! Never seen this before!"

When the first drag king came out, Earl looked at me wide eyed and went "There's a dude version too?!" And I said yeah they're called drag kings. And he said, low, "Drag kings."

During one of the queens performances, he frowned, shook his head and told me, "Your legs are better than hers." in a tone that implied he thought there was some travesty taking place and I should also be getting paid

When he found out I was there with my husband (and that I am not a woman) he profusely apologized and said "I'm so sorry, it's dark in here and I thought you were a hot chick! I wouldn't have said nothing if I knew you had a husband, I'm so sorry about that."

When beemovie invited me to the dance floor with him later and I still had a drink in my hand, Earl said "Oh don't worry about that I can hold your drink, you get on out there and shake your ass with your husband!" Then before we left, Earl bought me drinks for "Putting up with me all night and answering everything. Y'all helped me have a great time tonight."

like. You gotta recognize there's going to people who have never had interacted outside of their of their own community. This includes you. And just because your community is familiar with all the right vocabulary and how to correctly say something, it doesn't mean they're actually going to support you. If someone like Earl shows up, confused and out of their depth but kind and curious and earnest, you gotta have patience and truck through the small things, so when he goes back to his friends and his coworkers and they snicker asking how the drag show was, he can genuinely talk about how included we tried to make him feel and that he had a great time

The person matters more than the language

I will reblog this EVERY TIME.

Sanitized language is a tool of oppression, always has been and always will be.

And yes, I get being pissed off by slurs. I do. But in the times we are living in right now, we really need to all pivot our priorities to safety.

"Earl" will talk to all his Busch drinking, tractor-pulling, gun toting, conservative voting friends about the nice and friendly and harmless trannies he met, and they will understand him.

They do not know what gender non-conforming, trans-femme/masc, demiboy, agender genderqueer bisexual lesbians are, and quite frankly, they do not need to.

What we need from Earl and his friends is for them to feel neutrally enough about us to not become violent with us, and to spread the idea that violence against us is not necessary or warranted. They are simply not going to do that in a language that is not their own.

I'm gonna be soooooo real with you rn. This isn't about workplace sensitivity training. The reason why the Earl story is so captivating is because it's so unusual. People are not going to ask you to teach them. When you get the opportunity to influence someones perspective and make the world a safer place, grab it by the fucking throat and don't waste it by lecturing about the no-no words. There are very real threats. Being referred to with an outdated word is not going to kill you.

Earl needs to use the language his peers are used to in order to acclimate them to having neutral feelings about us. If that language is "slurs," then he needs to use slurs.

We are so far from bridges. We can start thinking about bridges when we're no longer at risk of being hunted for fucking sport.

ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

FETCH ME NEIL

yeah I feel fine, why? oh, my hand tremors? yeah that's just a thing don't worry. yeahh it's a side effect of the dark arcane power boiling like magma inside my veins at all times. it's fine it makes some things hard to do but I get by yknow.

Taliesin Jaffe ghostwrote this post

the fact that you have to confirm each boop is slowing down my psychological warfare a bit i will admit. but it isn't stopping it

[halo announcer voice] TESTICULAR MANSLAUGHTER

for april fools we’re deleting this entire site sayonara you weeaboo shits

i needed to read this today so im sharing it to all of you!!

wizard: i have trapped you in a time loop >:)

me, loves routines: oh darn whatever shall i do

wizard: you know, the point of the time loop is to have some big revelation and work on yourself, not to keep attempting to redo all your awkward moments in small talk conversations

me, on day 33 of my time loop: stfu im going back to the coffee shop again today and when the barista tells me to enjoy my drink THIS TIME i am not going to say “you too”

me (day 47): and thanks, you too— FUCK not again

wizard: alright im breaking the time loop i cant keep watching this anymore

The time loop: Doesn’t break.

Wizard: *FUCK*

me to the wizard on day 48 of OUR time loop:

i just feel strongly that work shouldnt be the Main Activity of five days out of the week

man this year is gonna be the year i either die or become someone else i dont know which one maybe both

Everytime i think of the future i nearly throw up

hate to say it but the cow is right

Oh plush cow we're really in it now

I don't know why, but I find it even more comforting to look at it this way:

Beginning to think some of you don’t actually know what a crackship is

A crackship is not looking at two characters who interact a lot and have an established dynamic and going 'haha what if they kissed that'd be so funny'. No no. A crackship is like. 'Main character/shopkeep who only has two lines'. It's 'big bad/that exact same shopkeep'. It's 'Frodo Baggins/Shadow the Hedgehog'. If it does not boggle the mind it's not really a crackship.