Going on a hiatus over winter break
If we’re mutuals I’m sure we’re already friends on other social media
See ya
sunshinewoman reblogged
Images are powerful. Particularly because, as humans, we are not immune to them. Many advertisements sexualize violence against women, this, perhaps, is even more painful as it associates male sexuality with violence, reinforcing the idea that this is somehow “biological” or “inevitable.” This is how rape culture operates: it doesn’t say outright: “go and rape,” but it does make that seem less horrible, less dehumanizing, more easily imagined.
Source: ourwildways
Having a panic attack about not being able to breathe while I am, in fact, breathing
sunshinewoman reblogged
My philosophy is basically this, and this is something that I live by, and I always have, and I always will: Don’t ever, for any reason, do anything, to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where, or who, or who you are with, or where you are going, or where you’ve been, ever, for any reason whatsoever.
sunshinewoman reblogged
goodbyesocialconstructs
TW: severe domestic and sexual violence
There’s a story on HONY about how a woman died because her boyfriend was choking her during sex, because its “supposed to make a better orgasm” (for who, I wonder?). He literally choked her to death. Oh yeah, then he didn’t call it in and disposed of her body 3 days later behind a 7/11.
The story is on a picture of her dad telling this. I just… damn. So much going on.
But really, I think that it is just another example of how BDSM becoming mainstream/accepted is pretty fucking terrible for women. Because people actually buy his story of “it was an accident”. Her own father seems to buy it. Just like those stories of women not being believed when they are raped, despite having bruises all over. I didn’t used to believe this. But BDSM becoming mainstream is really really really fucking terrible. Because people accept violence against women without batting an eyelash. Its just a rebranding of the old “beat your wife so she’ll listen, she will be grateful for the discipline” shit. It just has 4th wave sexual revolution bullshit on it.
But women are dying because of this acceptance. And men are getting away with killing them, don’t feel bad for hurting them or getting off to them being hurt in unimaginable ways.
When I was going through reporting my rapist it was one of the singular more infuriating things, and that’s coming from someone that, at the time, had been so internalized that anger was fleeting at best. Every single person from counselors, to crisis workers, to victim services, to the police all told me to be prepared for nothing to happen. That they believed me (an officer taking my statement actually was visibly emotionally shaken hearing my story), but how much they believed me just didn’t really matter under our criminal code. All it took was him saying “well, every thing that happened was consensual” (I shared with them over 80 pages of texts, emails and facebook messages in which he said things like “I really want to hurt you,” and talked about having pinned me down, choked me, etc. and how he felt everything he did to me somehow did me a favour). That was it, really. Multiple other people made reports against him eventually (I think at least 5 people), but none of it mattered because it was “consensual” despite bruises, psych evals diagnosing with PTSD, people being put on medication, etc. No one was even allowed to get restraint. So, I just go through life and try and live as true to myself as possible, raise awareness, work on being happy, and try to accept that one day he will probably kill me like I have no doubt that he’s wanted to for a long time, but if that does happen it will hopefully, finally, put him in jail.
sunshinewoman reblogged
Much of what she lists doing isn’t simply cleaning and maintenance, but it is closely related. It involves thought, and planning:
“Hanging stuff on the walls, putting photographs in picture frames, thinking about whether we should buy new sheets because the old ones are getting old, thinking about the time that we are going to have dinner, thinking about what we are going to have for dinner.”
It is not just that Thompson is cooking dinner, it is that she is planning dinner menus (what would he like to eat?), and thinking of what time to have it – all types of thoughtfulness that go unnoticed. “It really annoys me that I have to think about this. It’s not fair, it’s taxing on me”, she says.
Birth control planning is another issue. “I am the one who has to do the entire research and break it down for him. ‘How long does it take you to get pregnant after the IUD?’ he asks me. “Well, why wouldn’t you make time to make that research if you are thinking we will have kids?”
The same is valid for smaller details of everyday life. “He is looking for stuff. Have you seen my nail filer? He goes to the closet and says he cannot see it. It’s there. ‘Where do we keep the kitchen towels?’ He asks me time and time again. After the third or the fourth time, that shit needs to be learned.”
She continues: “It suggests to me that there is a detachment to home that I do not have the luxury of having. Because if I did, then our everyday life would be a nightmare. So I take on that role. That’s not my authentic self, but I have no choice,” she says.
So Thompson picks her battles (don’t we all?), and the question remains – if we are socialized from a young age to be this way, is it possible that we really are better at it, even if nature did not make us so? Should we just shut up and get on with it because the world would probably stop turning if we didn’t?
Or is it time we started forgetting the birthdays too, time we stopped falsely screaming ecstasy, and demanded adequate, formal remuneration for emotion work provided in the workplace as a skill?
Now that, right there, would probably be a shake-patriarchy-to-its-core revolution.
(via
)
It’s so much more obvious during holidays, when so many women do so much work to have a colorful Christmas. My mother always, always did the bulk of the decorating (and only got my father to help by YEARS of persistence on her part). My dad has never bought gifts. Ever. It has always been my mother’s job. She buys Christmas gifts for him, but he rarely does for her.
With family gatherings, the women are always trying to keep the peace and keep the men’s tempers down. Without fail, we always expect a male relative to throw a temper tantrum, scream, scream louder at anyone who tells him to calm down, and leaves in a huff. (And then this man is welcomed back with smiles and no expectations of an apology for scaring the kids.)
they say “next frontier” like we’re not still fighting all the other shit
(via anticipatedrepudiation)
I just read a great article about emotional labor as it relates to the holiday season! (It’s a little #notallmen but still)
sunshinewoman reblogged
tbh? what is it like living w/o any sense of anxiety fear or stress constantly and vaguely looming?? does it exist????
sunshinewoman reblogged
lesbianwarfare-deactivated20190
bad habits: visiting this fucking website every day
sunshinewoman reblogged
Source: vine.co
sunshinewoman reblogged
I watched this like 50 times today lmfao
Source: byrongraffiti
sunshinewoman reblogged
mvlans-moved-deactivated2017021
when someone says something so wrong that really pisses you off but you don’t wanna start an argument so you just sit there like
sunshinewoman reblogged
Babe I’m Gonna Leave You | Led Zeppelin
sunshinewoman reblogged
hotanimebabe
I really love this
sunshinewoman reblogged
witwitch-deactivated20160508
Anonymous asked:
If that were true, wouldn't it make demisexuality allosexual-phobic? What singles out gay people?
Gay people are stigmatized for being hypersexual, like you just mentioned.
That’s why when straight people claim they’re “demisexual” it’s basically implying that gay people are hypersexual.
Seriously, demisexuality is not a thing. I say this as someone who used to use that term to describe myself. Check my /tagged/demisexual/ or /tagged/demisexuality/ because I’ve spoken about this topic before.
It’s just a special snowflake label that serves no purpose, because there’s no axis of oppression that targets people who only feel sexual attraction after an emotional bond is formed.
But why do people feel like they are different from everyone else if they’re not interested in hooking up? Because of porn culture, because of rape culture.
That’s just healthy sexuality. We live in a rape culture and a porn culture which convinces us we must do our best to have sexual experiences ASAP and that doesn’t mean everyone who has casual sex is actually genuinely enjoying it and not really feeling empty on the inside. I don’t think people are always honest with themselves and I think there are some universal truths to the human condition.
Now you can form emotional bonds pretty quickly, like if you hit it off right away and really connected with someone–so I’m not saying every single one night stand is inherently meaningless. This is a pretty controversial opinion but I do think that “meaningless sex” is usually something people end up regretting because I don’t think it’s healthy for people to try to fill the void inside ourselves through empty sex with strangers we aren’t connected to.
Everyone who has an empty sex life where they treat their partner like an object and then dump them–do you really genuinely believe that is healthy or good for ANYONE? Why, just because they say that’s what they want? When that is what society taught them to want? And so they feel like they *should* be happy because they’re having all of this sex and isn’t that what everyone wants? And they’re afraid of opening their hearts?
I do not think there are people who this is somehow actually healthy and good for them. I think “demisexuality” is just healthy sexuality and that having sex when you don’t actually really want to have sex with that person, you’re just using them as a living masturbation tool, is unhealthy.
sunshinewoman reblogged
opisaswerf
“stop” and “no” are already “safe words”, why does anyone need a specific word that is supposed to “ruin the mood” in order to stop doing something if someone doesn’t want to fucking do it? also, i’m pretty sure there’s a good chance your sub won’t even remember the designated word under extreme pressure, and their first reactions are probably going to be “stop” or “no” or “don’t do that”. those phrases are already designated to end something that they don’t want to happen to them, the use of “safe words” is absolutely ridiculous
social-constrvct
Because you might be doing lovely consensual rape-play and so screaming “no! stop!” is all just part of the game. How anyone can think it is perfectly normal and healthy to “””fantasise””” about raping someone is absolutely beyond me. I will never buy the whole “we have safe words and therefore it is safe” because how the hell can someone utter a safe word, or any words for that matter, when they are being gagged and strangled??
sunshinewoman reblogged
“The average prison sentence for men who kill their intimate partners is 2 to 6 years. Women who kill their partners are sentenced, on average, 15 to 17 years. A pair of Maryland cases vividly illustrates this inequality in sentencing. In one case, a judge in Baltimore County, Maryland sentenced Kenneth Peacock to 18 months for killing his unfaithful wife. The very next day, another judge in the same county sentenced Patricia Ann Hawkins to three years in prison for killing her abusive husband. Significantly, the prosecutor in the Peacock case requested a sentence twice as long as the one imposed, while the prosecutor in the Hawkins case requested one-third of the sentence imposed.” “As many as 90% of the women in prison today [2008] for killing men had been battered by those men.” ~ The Michigan Women’s Justice & Clemency Project
try and tell me sexism isn’t real
colorsoftheswim
Hold the fucking phone
sunshinewoman reblogged
weloveshortvideos
It’s magic! The cookie jar opens and she appears!
Source: weloveshortvideos.com