ふわふわとした☁️ https://www.instagram.com/p/Ce8P9sLBvEW/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

girlhood is touching your necklace whenever you feel nervous

me when im absolutely not corrupted by the amulet

he touched me, so I live to know

men love to be held by the scruff of the neck btw

on the first day he was sober barely enough to pass as a human

new favorite bit is saying "I would be fangirling so hard if I met him in real life 😍" about random species of fish

flowers in the community garden. watercolor on toned paper~

THE WITCH

2015, dir. Robert Eggers

CLAUDIA & LOUIS + THE THING LAY STILL

if hello kitty was real we would be bestfriends

me n u or u n hello kitty ?

me and you

Dev Patel in MONKEY MAN (2024)

I wonder if some part of Benson was deeply hurt and angered seeing the way Ms. Beard and Randy were able to come together and effectively communicate to achieve a kind of catharsis together years and years after their incident. Like it feels important that when Benson was initially pushing Randy to talk to Ms. Beard, he was NOT planning on having to confront his own trauma. He was thinking that he would safely linger around in the background and watch Randy make amends with his teacher, maybe do some weird psychosexual intimidation play and then leave - exactly like he did with Lisa. Now that he can't just be a voyeur to and enjoy Randy's catharsis by proxy, he has to confront the fact that there won't ever EVER be a situation where he gets any semblance of resolution or relief from the pain of his own past. I'm sure he has beaten Mr. Shepherd to death a million times in his mind over the years, imagined the shadows of satisfaction that might come if only he could really get his revenge. I don't think he ever imagined how he would feel if he was ACTUALLY faced with the opportunity to do so. Instead of catharsis, he just feels the weight of his own trauma clawing back to the surface and threatening to pull him under. AND as he's literally drowning in PTSD, Randy is having an emotionally vulnerable, healing moment of connection with Ms. Beard.

Benson is alone and he's resentful of the fact that there is hope for anyone when there isn't any left for him. I think this is when Benson fully comes to terms with the fact that he is not making it out of this. It's over. Everyone else Benson killed that day were left with their faces in tact. No headshots, no disfigured sneers to stare at him in the wake of his violence. But Mr. Shepherd died with a hole for a face. A void of blood and fractured teeth. That's how Benson feels when he looks directly into the face of his own trauma rather than just viewing it as a reflection in Randy's mirror. Irreparably broken, gaped and gasping for a breath that won't ever come. Benson baby you deserved so much more from life I'm so sorry