paradoxical paradise

my head hurts from how stuck i feel and it’s just such a shame to feel so shitty and pathetic

happy 26th birthday emma, you’re still sorely missed and i hope to see you in the next life

feeling sorry for my friends because i get a burst of energy to talk to them for about one hour every month and then i go non-verbal and start haha and sad reacting to their messages

then feeling sorry for myself for not reaching out and/or not getting what i want back

i will get what’s in my head out in new music, whether solo or with burnerphone, but it’ll take time :’)

——

it took so long i ripped apart the hands on the clock

floating down the stream, im in limbo

came to my senses, got a lot of shit for my ways

‘Out of 7 billion what makes you different?’

a flared up fairytale of reminiscence and regrets of everyday - a bittersweet happiness, reality (morality) in distress

are you good, or just misunderstood?

im losing sleep, everyday i get a little behind

artificial energy is all i’ve got

everything in shambles, falling through the cracks

left behind by friends, gods, idols of my past

you’re hanging around, doing fine, reminiscent of good and bad of everyday - a bittersweet happiness, my sanity in distress

show me my place as a second-class citizen of my utopia