Unstable

omg so yesterday i put a salt line on the pathway to our front door because i was fucking around and my brother was pretending to be a demon

and today we ordered pizza and the salt line was still there

and my brother went outside to sign for the pizza

and the pizzaman refused to step over the salt line, like he almost did and then he backed up and handed my bro the pizza and left; which is pretty ridiculous because it’s far from our door

so a heads up to everyone i’m pretty sure domino’s is actually run by demons??? kind of like how in men in black the post office is run by aliens

demono

((”Not just pizza”))

((”but eternal damnation”))

Alternate theory: It wasn’t that the pizza guy couldn’t cross the line of salt himself.

He just saw the line of salt and assumed that it was the only thing keeping you and your brother in, and he didn’t want nothing to do with your demon asses

Alternate alternate theory: pizza man is a slug.

buzzfeed has a “everyone is a combo of two wild animals - here are yours” quiz and i got wolf and fox and i am just feeling like a bad bitch rn 

HERE’S THE LINK 

One of the best coffee places I’ve ever been to.

odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

Oðinn spake:

Bright the sun shone | at the time of Þor’s birth, And bathed his count'nance fair. Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar, I found on the cold pavement While returning in glory | from a grand hunt For a 3 AM quesadilla.

@damn-fuck-i-burnt-myself-again

I need this framed on my wall it’s so beautiful. 

@theshitpostcalligrapher

ay @systlin hmu

@systlin

My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.

Solen sken, skönt gyllene

Dagen Tor föddes

På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell

Där låg Loke

—KJN

My translation:

The sun shone, sweet golden

The day of Tor’s birth

On the tarmac, by Taco Bell

There lay Loki

(For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.)

@bold-sartorial-statement

ay yo show ur husband 

@bold-sartorial-statement no but hang on this should be in runes: 

(oops spot the typos)

i wanna translate this into icelandic so imma do it 

Sólin skein, björt og gullin við fæðingu Þórs á stígnum við Taco Bell Þar lá Loki

The amount of quality going into these shitposts is amazing

This is not shitposting, this is transformative work!

This is one of the most quality things I’ve ever seen on any media

Good job crew

I am CRYING in absolute AWE I LOVE ALL OF YOU

anyone else fucking LOVE BEING IN BED???

bitch im in bed right now!! how did you know!!

reblog if ur in bed

It’s not even ok how accurate this is.

tbh(thinkin bout Halloween)

What’s the word for horny but not in a sexual way like I’m horny for Halloween but I don’t wanna fuck a pumpkin you feel

do u mean excited

this is scientific evidence that porn makes you stupider

take inspiration from Tchaikovsky and have your bard use 21 cannons as instruments.

op change your url

communication is the foundation

Where are they going? What are they saying?

I don’t even care they just sound so beautiful

they are singing s traveling song

More cuddles and less anxiety please and thank you

like. objectively. living in that time period would SUCK but victorian stuff is so, so, sexy. i want to be sent off to boarding school because i’m too rowdy in an attempt to make me stop embarrassing my family only to enter into a tempestuous love affair with my roommate before drowning in the grounds lake.

me

me on the first day of september

posters → ginny weasley