Stuff I'm Making - Dilemma
The whole reason I started this Tumblr is to have an outlet that I can communicate in more thoroughly than through a Youtube description, and a lot better organized at that. If I'm not mistaken, this 'Tumblr' thing seems to be like some sort of place I can blog, like a new Myspace or something except not bad? Correct me if I'm wrong...
--Anyways, the content I create.
There's two different kinds of content on my channel. I started out making TF2 remixes after being inspired by VincesoX's Pokerface remix 'Babyman'. It was and still is an awesome video. I was never a stranger to attempting to get more subscribers to my channel. In its' early days, every time I'd finish a video, I'd grab the link and share it on TF2chan. I had literally never been there before, and only went to drop the link and run away. I was afraid of what people would say. I always have been.
I was guilty of putting 'tits' and 'ass' on my video tags. I was young. After making a couple of TF2 remixes, some of which became semi-popular (at least among the then much smaller TF2 community) I wanted to go bigger. I can't just keep doing the same thing.
I loved watching Gmod videos. My friend and I watched them tirelessly and laughed our eyes out, and we still do to a point. I wanted to use Gmod--to make awesome videos like 69Starmix96 and Rubberfruit. I ended up making one, though rather juvenile, and with Windows Movie Maker. It was shitty, but it was a start.
Soon after, Valve announced an official SFM build. I didn't get a beta key, because I wasn't important. So I waited. And waited. Then I finally got it. This was what I needed to breathe new life into my videos. I started work on a new remix.
Game Grumps started. I loved it. Both me and my friend loved it. I saw all the Game Grump Animated's coming out, and loved them. Sonic 06 happened. I knew I needed to do it. And I started.
Beautiful Little Moment came out, and I decided to share it on /r/gamegrumps. It was radically different than anything I had made before. It was something I felt like doing, not something that was a natural continuation of what I had been doing. Eventually, it boomed. My friend started calling me a Youtube star, but I didn't want to be called that. I didn't like it. I didn't want to be any sort of 'star.' I thought I did, but I didn't. I was scared.
Then NBA Motherfucking Jam.
Game Grumps with Jon ended, and I made one last Gamegrumps Animated. I felt it would be nice to cap it off as a trilogy. The video was uploaded, and weeks later, I got to thinking.
Sure, I had gained many subscribers from these videos. But I felt, I had near abandoned those who I started with in the first place. Are they still subscribed? Do they know I exist?
After what may have been a year, yesterday I opened up Audacity and GCFscape, and began to mix. Their interfaces greeted me, like old friends.
All in all, if I can say one thing about this, it's this...
Sometimes, people won't like what you create. Sometimes they will. Sometimes, people will leave you. Others may stay. Sometimes you've got to do something different. You've got to make a change. After long hours, and a rollercoaster of emotions, it's come to this.
My next video is not a Gamegrumps animated. I don't have anything planned for this year's Saxxies. I'm currently making a TF2 remix + music video, and I have many ideas for that. I'm not an organized person. Not even I can predict what I'll do next.
I may do more Gamegrumps Animated's, more TF2 remixes, or maybe something that hasn't even come to me yet. It's all in the air.
I have a lot more things to talk about, but that'll be for a different time.