Sherlock Holmes having a universal ace experience -- expressing disinterest and immediately getting called an inhuman robot.

#images#sherlock holmes#sorry i don't turn rabid and marry the prettiest girl in sight at the push of a button my dear watson

Watson is like "of course I proposed marriage to a girl I met two days ago, I'm normal and make rational decisions"

#I read this part just the other day#He literally proposes within two days it’s crazy

Every Sherlock Holmes remake that tries to make Watson the straight man does him a great injustice. Mfer is a total madlad. Everyone's like "oh he's not addicted to hard drugs and doesn't do chemistry experiments in his bedroom for fun" there are subtler ways to be completely unhinged.

The thing is, Watson may or may not instigate the Situations & Shenanigans, but he voluntarily spends most of his Sherlock Holmes, who DOES!

““Normal”“ people do not do that.

Watson will show up at Holmes' place and be like "are you doing any investigations of super weird shit today" and Holmes will be like "yes I am cornering this dangerous mass murderer, you should come and bring your gun in case anyone tries to shoot us" and Watson will do it without question, thinking "I'm so glad he's got something wholesome to distract himself with so he doesn't take more cocaine".

ANOTHER THING about Kirkwall Gang... (And obviously beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I am speaking in a very generalized sense)

Origins crew, a trail mix squad. A few of them are textually described as lookers, but most are not really defined by their appearance/you're not led to pay their appearance much mind. There's other shit going on. Awakening crew much the same. Inquisition even more so, in fact the characteristics that are framed as attractive in this squad isn't necessarily visual at all, but in competency.

Kirkwall Squad? Comparatively sexy. Isabela is there the whole time. Varric's shirt is completely open. Why waste a perfectly handsome elf? Someone mistook Anders for a prostitute in a brothel. Avelines arms. Merrill's everything. Sebastian is a prince in shining white armor. Women practically catcall Carver in the street. "You Wanna Fuck Me So Bad It Makes You Look Stupid" Hawke.

This is FUNNIEST TO ME when in the mindset that da2 is framed by Varric's personal narration. He said "oh also we looked amazing. Like sexy but not even trying. We were trying, but like it was practically effortless."

I REPEAT I'm not saying there were no handsome sons of bitches in the other games, nor am I attempting to diss your most favoritist squad if you prefer the others. I am saying the Kirkwall Gang got the Sexy Treatment, most likely by Varric.

It’s worth noting that this is actually hinted at in the text - Varric’s initial intro is even MORE ridiculously sexy and sad-but-kinda-cool, and then after Cassandra demands ‘the truth’, he tones it down, it’s all a bit more realistic, and - most notably - suddenly Bethany’s boobs are half the size they were a second ago.

Like, it’s actual game canon that he was doing that EXACT THING before Cassandra yelled at him and he throttled back on the Described Sexiness at least enough to be plausible.

My cat’s body is so loose and saggy that he blended in perfectly with a sweater on the ground. When my mom was cleaning up, she thought he was part of the sweater and grabbed him. :(

You GRAB miette??? You grab miette like a sweater???

When I was a kid I saw Niko Goldeye as a cultured, sophisticated adult. Rereading now...that man is a fussy clothes lover and totally vain and prissy (in a loving way). And toootally not straight.

The lack of straightness in Circle of Magic is, upon re-reading, extreme. And I love that.

Excuse me that is entirely untrue.

There is no reason to believe that either Shriek or Bear is other than 100% straight and we should respect that.

me doing normal human activities: is this allowed? is this allowed? am i allowed to do this? is this allowed? i don’t want to get in trouble can i do this is this allowed?

A friend of mine bought her first house alone after 30-some years of living with other people who made the rules, and she kept asking me questions like this. “Can I just tear out the carpet?” “Can I just take down the window coverings?” Finally she asked me, “Do I have to paint the door white? What if I wanted it to be blue or something?”

I said, “Well, you can, but you’ll have to pay a small fine at the county office.”

“Really?”

“NO! It’s your door! You paint it blue if you want it blue and nobody can tell you not to!”*

To this day, we both give ourselves permission to do things that our brains are uncertain about by saying, “Eh, if it comes to it, I’ll pay a small fine at the county office.”

*No HOA in her neighborhood, obviously. YMMV.

they should invent shorts that fit people who have bodies

everyone saying "just shop the men's section" is completely missing the point first of all I have tried that and it's worse secondly I shouldn't have to go out of my way to find clothing that fits comfortably. There should be clothes in styles i like to wear that are targeted at my gender that fit diverse sizes and proportions.

Don't miss a wire

Having just finished Lady Knight I'm reflecting on how fundamentally different Kel's story is from Daine and Alanna.

Alanna and Daine are both heavy on The Nonsense (to use @holy-muffins excellent phrase). You can roughly sum them up as The Beginning Of The Nonsense and The Nonsense Escalates. And both of them have these very specific backgrounds, and they have powers, and the gods are constantly bothering them (and this goes for Arram Draper too)... Kel is just Kel (except for the one head's up from the Chamber).

Like, you can roughly sum up Protector of the Small as Kel Goes to School and then Kel's First Job. She's an excellent knight, but just regular flavour excellent. The entirety of First Test and of Squire is just Kel's education with a few hiccups. The climax of both is just, a final exam. The big climax of Page culminates in A Courtroom Drama, in Squire. The big climax of Lady Knight Kel describes as the greatest disappointment of her life.

Its amazing. She's living her life in the aftermath of all the Nonsense, but that's just her life, she's grown up with it.

Yes! You are so right! I think this is why I resonate with Kel more as an adult than I did as a kid.

Alanna and Daine are "chosen ones", they're unusual and special and I felt like the world was telling me I was too and that's what's important. But Kel is just a girl, then woman, who has a supportive family and is determined to live the life she wants to live. As an adult I've recognized that most people, myself included, aren't special, and that's not a bad thing cause what matters is what you do.

Weirdly I'm now realizing that its the fact that Kel isn't a "chosen one" character that makes the PotS books so expansive.

Alanna and Daine both spend a lot of the climaxes of their books off to one side of where everyone else is, for a very good reason, they have to run off and Fight The Villain. They're absorbed in dealing with the Divine Whatever and the other characters have to deal with everything that comes from that. But Kel is squarely in the "everything that comes from that" group.

Like, going back to my favourite scene in Lioness Rampant, Alanna hears about what Raoul has done to modernize the King's Own after she gets back from retrieving the Dominion Jewel. Kel gets to see it all up close, because she's a regular squire working with them for 4 years straight. The things that set her apart (having grown up in the Yamani Islands and being The Girl Page actually make her MORE interconnected to everything. She sees more of the politics. She talks to more people.

Alanna and Daine ultimately have to leave the main battle to fight Duke Roger and Emperor Ozorne alone. Kel plans to do that with Blayce... and 5 separate groups of people immediately plan to come with her and she brings an extra group back with her.

I feel like witches are sedentary and wizards are migratory. A witch has a home, a cauldron, herbs, you go to them with your problem. A wizard wanders, disappears, shows up at inconvenient times to fix nothing. am i making sense

some good theories in the notes but I choose to believe those are made by a village or perhaps king as an artificial home, to attract and keep a wizard. like a beehive

While artificially built towers do attract wild wizards a wizard will naturally build their own tower as they enter the later stage of their life cycle. For the first couple hundred years of their lives wizards are extremely mobile and may travel almost anywhere in the world or even beyond. A tower usually begins as a workshop which the wizard returns to during their migration in order to store trinkets and artifacts which they collect during their travels. As the collection outgrows the available space in the workshop a combination of the concentration of volatile magical energy and the wizards natural desire to build secret passageways causes them to begin expanding the workshop. This usually starts with basic "bigger on the inside" magic but due to constraints around energy usage for sustained large scale spacetime warping they will eventually turn to more traditional methods of building. There are some documented cases of wizards whose workshops expanded outward instead of upwards, resulting in labyrinth structures rather than the more traditional tower. It is still unclear what environmental pressure causes these divergent structures. As the wizard ages and their exploratory phase winds down their travels will focus on a progressively more narrow subset of arcane knowledge until they find one secret of the universe complex enough to prompt their transition into the final stage of the wizard lifestyle. By this point they will almost certainly have a fully fledged tower or have settled into one they've found already existing. Their desire to travel is generally severely reduced by this point and outside of quests to discover certain highly specific items related to their studies it's possible that they might not leave their tower for months or years at a time. In some cases they may begin this phase several times if the secret they started pursuing is less challenging or less fundamental to the operations of the universe than expected. When they do find their final subject of study and find the answers they sought, they will finally reach the end of the wizard life cycle, either via death caused by hubris, merging with a larger consciousness, ascendence to a different plane or to godhood, or metamorphosis into a litch. Other wizards may sometimes occupy the abandoned towers of a former wizard but most will move on in order to build their own before entering into these later stages. Very rarely a particularly social variety of wizard may build several connected towers and share resources, these are called schools and over time they will tend to attract a large number of younger and weaker wizards seeking shelter.

Absolutely brilliant analysis of wizards and their migratory patterns through the ages. I can personally verify that this is accurate, and you may now consider this properly peer reviewed and accepted.

in hysterics

I spent a good chunk of my weekend scrambling to finish this comic. I hope you like it. I was really trying to push myself with the colours.

You know what’s wild? This comic still gets reblogged every single day. I made it so long ago it doesn’t even feel like my own work haha. Anyways, I guess I’m glad people still like it but it’s very weird to have One Piece of Art that Doesn’t Fade.

for the love of everything that is good and nice DON'T DO THIS

Please do not do this! I'm happy to talk about 'what ifs' or 'what happens next' even if I can't write a whole fic but PLEASE don't put any fics into AI!

#i'm so exhausted#fic being scraped off ao3 by bots is bad enough#readers actually FEEDING fic into AI is breaking my actual heart#DO NOT EVER FEED FIC INTO AI WITHOUT THE AUTHOR'S PERMISSION#99.999% of authors are THRILLED to discuss AUs for their fics#the 'what ifs'#the 'missing scenes'#the possible alternate outcomes#JUST ASK THE AUTHOR TO CHAT WITH YOU ABOUT THIS#most of us would cry with joy if you gave us the chance to ramble about our fics!#DO NOT FEED MY FICS TO AI PLEASE I BEG YOU -@cicerfics

Oh my god what no don't do this what the fuck