video description: a tiny, tubby orange and white kitten is rolling around on a patterned blanket. someone approaches him with an appropriately small brush and attempts to groom him, succeeding in brushing his side and tummy but then having to field his clumsy attempts at smacking the brush. he is so cute it is criminal.
why is “olde vampires in high school” the big thing and not “olde vampires in college”
the girl in pyjamas is the vampire
Also:
#there literally was a guy who bit someone’s neck at my university #in my last year#everyone was just like ‘CAMPUS CRYPTID’
also everybody is either always eating or never eating so not eating isn’t that weird
“never seen in the light of the sun//sleeps all day & is awake at night” “can’t eat garlic” “dresses weird” “can’t enter your home uninvited” “won’t go into churches” “drinks weird red liquid”
You guys are missing the biggest joke, everyone will actively call them “the vampire” but think nothing of it
Vampires at college not high school 2020 yuletide fandom
I’m so down for this. Also!
I want a blood drive volunteer getting caught sucking on a donation like a juice box at the campus blood drive…by another vampire
Who is like AW MAN YOU TOOK THE LAST AB- THAT’S THE BEST ONE
It is on a par with sneaking the last tangerine la Croix for the communal fridge
I would like to personally apologize to every teacher whose projects I overthought as a kid to the point that I could barely do them
5th grade teacher: alright class! This week we’re going to be doing something a little different! I want you all to focus on helping others, then you should write down every good deed you’ve done in your notebooks!
10 year old me, absolutely overthinking the shit out of this: but it feels wrong to do good deeds only to gain something in return, isn’t it inherently bad if my reason for helping isn’t just to help but so I can boast about it in a notebook?
Teacher: just… Just do the project please
8th grade teacher: alright class, please write a letter from the view of a person experiencing this historical event
14 year old me, staring at my paper: how am i supposed to do that when we only summed up what happened? what are the details someone experiencing this would focus on? what were the opinions of people about that? what words that are long since out of fashion would I use? what was the culture like back then and what references would someone make? If I don’t do it it sounds unrealistic and fake can we please do more research first
8th grade teacher: …just do the exercise please
Actually you know what? Stop calling me out like this, I still overthink the shit out of everything I ever do
Oh yes I also beat my wife to cope
Sir that's my emotional support domestic abuse victim.
#the father, the daughter and the holy spirit
friendly reminder that international women’s day includes trans women :)
IF YOU DONT INCLUDE TRANS WOMEN !!!! ILL HIT YOU WITH MY BIG CAR!!!
i wanna watch spiderverse but do i have to see spidertop and spiderbottom first or does it not matter?
It is not necessary to watch Venom to see Spiderverse, no.
i think his funniest tweet is the pic of just the oval office but it has a gamer chair
I’m voting for him
Some of these are legitimately good takes
How do you explain to someone that this is your sense of humor
I was wondering where this was going and lemme tell you I fell out of my chair
Very cool Merriam-Webster,very cool.
how do you pronounce it?
Yo thats cool as heck
For all the assholes who use the dictionary for the ultimate authority on shit for whatever reason
OMFG.
Very curious doggo
Reminder that puffins are extremely social and like to fit in with their friends, so they will adopt mannerisms and interests of the group. So there is a good chance this little guy is trying to be friends with the photographer by showing his interest in the camera.
TIL photographers are a lot like puffins, cuz we also make friends by showing interest in your camera XD
Reminds me of the time researchers were trying to get puffins to land in a specific area so the put decoys up to draw them in but the decoys only had 1 leg and
THIS IS SO CUTE OMG
male anger is so..... disgusting......
like stop throwing shit and slamming doors and just go to therapy..... it’s not cute to make women around you afraid bc you’re mad about something......
“I have a mental illness”= generic, vulnerable, people judge you for it
“My bloodline is cursed to fight unseen demons”= heroic, fairy tale-esque, too weird to be open for further questioning
My one best friend sent me this on Facebook and I'm lowkey losing my shit
Valentine’s Day Energy 💗
