I love going viral on tumblr.com. It’s like if you stood in a field and said some of the stupidest shit a human being is capable of and then like fifty thousand crows attacked you

Don’t do this to me

my brother in christ you made the post

Thinking about how when my oldest brother took Japanese classes his professor was like your pronunciation is really good 😊 but you need to watch movies that aren't about the Yakuza because you sound like a criminal

i just want to crawl into someone’s arms under a huge blanket and fall asleep to the sound of rain on the window

I was making chitchat with the woman who works at the plant nursery and I mentioned that two baby trees I bought the other day aren't doing too well, their leaves are yellowing, maybe I'm watering them too much? what could be behind this phenomenon? and she looked like she was trying to find a gentle way to phrase it but then gave up and just said plainly, "Autumn."

another social interaction that will come back to haunt me at 3am five years from now

this is my new favorite headline/image combo EVER

this blog is for PROBLEMATIC kinks ONLY like handholding and doing TAXES TOGETHER

by Robin Wechsler

low self esteem can set your entire life back. it’ll cause you to miss opportunities. avoid taking risks. stay in situations longer than you should. seek validation instead of trusting your instincts. etc. you shouldn’t underestimate the power of having confidence or high self esteem with one’s self.

I'm setting my trap, to catch the damn haiku bot. Quiet! Here it comes.

I’m setting my trap,

to catch the damn haiku bot.

Quiet! Here it comes.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

do u ever miss your own energy. like damn what happened to me

hiii (with an intention to be a total goof and love you forever)

Which of these would you rather see on your dash?

Hey @staff. This is a perfect example of why collapsed reblogs is such a bad idea. Seeing the full thread, you go like this: 😮 ooh, that's cool 😀 "they're free," hehe! 🤣 "16 cents," perfection!!

I have achieved joy, I feel positive feelings toward Tumblr, I want to engage, I want to stay, my eyeballs land on more ads, you make more money, everyone wins! 🎉

Seeing the collapsed thread, you go like this:

😮 ooh, that's cool 😐 "16 cents"? yes, that's literally what the pic shows, not sure why you felt the need to say that

There is no motivation for me to uncollapse the reblog chain—it looks like a boring conversation about the denominations of coins. And even if I do uncollapse it, you've ruined the joke by showing me the punchline before the setup. I am sad, Tumblr is boring, I go elsewhere to entertain myself, I see less ads, you make less money, everyone loses. 😥

Reblog chains are the best thing about Tumblr. They are your unique super power. They are the thing that makes people screenshot Tumblr and share it around. Why on earth would you kneecap them??

I don't know exactly how you plan to implement this. Give people the option to keep them collapsed if there truly are people who are annoyed by how long they can get (you already have a version of this feature), but don't collapse them for everyone or new users by default. Please. It will make Tumblr so much more boring.

somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.

and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.

I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me

A lot of people went on the computer and never came back

if you’re not busy later i was wondering if you’d like to spend the rest of our lives together