bring back tumblr ask culture let me. bother you with questions and statements

reblog to let people know it's ok to bother you with questions and statements

please bother me with questions and statements

we’re going to have to call smut ‘lemons’ again, aren’t we? 

LEMONS!? WHEN THE FUCK WAS THIS?!

oh you sweet summer child 

I actually made this a button last convention

Gaud I remember when it was lemons, I feel old now

explain pls

No

What are lemons??

I don’t own the copyright to this, others own the show. All I have is this saaaad little computer and a sketch pad. ^-^ Please don’t sue! I don’t need anymore stress!

Please R&R!!!!!!!

No flames. >///<

lol this story contains slash! Don’t like don’t read. Rated M. AragornxLegolas. lemon. Lololol ^-^ NO FLAMES OR I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY STABBITY SPORK OF Death! -__-

#this post made me age ten thousand years.

Not a lemon but has a twist of lime! ;)

DISCLAIMER I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER OR ANY OF ITS CHARACTERS, If I did there’d be lots more gay!! ;)))))

As for myself, I revel in all of this. =3

REBLOG IF NAZIS OFFEND YOU MORE THAN NIPPLES.

We’ve been waiting long enough, where’s Mambo #6

i hate when ur in public somewhere and something goes mildly wrong/something inconvenient happens and the nearest baby boomer tries to get you to complain with them

what does this even mean

EXAMPLE:

you are in line at mcdonalds. its really busy and the employees are overwhelmed. it’s taking a long time. you are minding your own business. the old man in line next to you says to you, “boy, this is absolutely ridiculous, isn’t it? these kids working just dont know what they’re doing. Or they just dont care…” you awkwardly nod and take a step to the side

This has probably been said a million times before but:  Defend the employees.

Really, you’re never going to see Karen from Stubenville again in your life, so side-eye her real good and say:

“It’s not thier fault they’re understaffed. Having worked retail before, they’d love to have another three or five people back there helping out.  But since the whole ‘downsizing’ craze of the ninties, companies try to get as much out of thier employees as possible without regard for thier welfare, or the effect on service.  You should really get on McD’s website and complain about the chronic understaffing and tell them you’re willing to pay more elsewhere for better service.  They LISTEN to people like you.”

People love to complain, especially entitled people.  The good news is that they’re easily redirected with mild praise and a shiny new target.  Butter the elders and aim them at the bourgoise.

aim them at the bourgeoisie

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

as well u can just add ‘ed’ to any object and it’s sounds like you were really drunk

example: i was absolutely coat hangered last night

#i was gazeboed mate #i was absolutely baubled

Meanwhile, “utter” works for the first (e.g., “you utter floorboard”) but somehow “utterly” doesn’t seem to work as well for the second (“I was utterly floorboarded”).

Utterly doesn’t work for drunk because it’s the affix for turning random objects into terms for *shocked*, obviously.

… huh.  I thought that might just be the similarity to “floored”, and yet “I was utterly coat hangered” does seem to convey something similar.

I have to tell you, I am utterly sandwiched at this discovery.

Completely makes the phrase mean “super tired”.

“God, it’s been a long week, I am completely coat-hangered.”

Something is

Something is wrong with our language

RARE HISTORIC PHOTOS WE MIGHT HAVEN’T YET SEEN

An Exotic Dancer Demonstrates That Her Underwear Was Too Large To Have Exposed Herself, After Undercover Police Officers Arrested Her In Florida

Dorothy Counts – The First Black Girl To Attend An All-White School In The United States – Being Teased And Taunted By Her White Male Peers At Charlotte’s Harry Harding High School, 1957

Austrian Boy Receives New Shoes During WWII

Jewish Prisoners After Being Liberated From A Death Train, 1945

The Graves Of A Catholic Woman And Her Protestant Husband, Holland, 1888

A Lone Man Refusing To Do The Nazi Salute, 1936

Job Hunting In 1930’s

German Soldiers React To Footage Of Concentration Camps, 1945

Residents Of West Berlin Show Children To Their Grandparents Who Reside On The Eastern Side, 1961

Acrobats Balance On Top Of The Empire State Building, 1934

Mafia Boss Joe Masseria Lays Dead On A Brooklyn Restaurant Floor Holding The Ace Of Spades, 1931

Lesbian Couple At Le Monocle, Paris, 1932

The Most Beautiful Suicide – Evelyn Mchale Leapt To Her Death From The Empire State Building, 1947

The Remains Of The Astronaut Vladimir Komarov, A Man Who Fell From Space, 1967

Race Organizers Attempt To Stop Kathrine Switzer From Competing In The Boston Marathon. She Became The First Woman To Finish The Race, 1967

Harold Whittles Hearing Sound For The First Time, 1974

Nikola Tesla Sitting In His Laboratory With His “Magnifying Transmitter” more

Wow

my type of public transportation 

“Why were you late in today?”

“Oh, I got tied up on the subway…”

I was always 50/50 on whether to reblog this but the last comment pushed it to like 95/5 in favor.

“What’s our stop?”

“You’ll get off when I tell you to.”

you people are the most fucking exhausting i swear it

I say, jolly good show, chaps. And did I panic? I think not.

#the comic relief who is genuinely comic  #and who makes the ‘incompetent bufoon’ trope actually work as an endearing quality as originally intended  #well played movie - well played  #john hannah  #WHAT A FOX

#but! BUT!!!#THE GREAT THING ABOUT JONATHAN#IS HE’S NOT INCOMPETENT#he can read ancient Egyptian albeit not as well as his baby sister#he clearly has an interest in archaeology if only for treasure-related reasons#he had to go through intensive schooling to get the sort of permit required#to even have digs of his own#WHICH HE CLEARLY DOES#on a dig down in Thebes#he says and Evie believes him#Jonathan reads from the Book of the Living and he’s an excellent shot with a rifle and is clearly a boxer#Jonathan is SO COMPETENT and SO IMPORTANT#while simultaneously being plucky comic relief without JUST being plucky comic relief#u get me?

Jonathan, like Phryne Fisher, clearly hasn’t taken anything seriously since 1918.

And, I would suspect, for similar reasons.

^^^This. Jonathan being in World War I makes total sense. It’s almost impossible for him not to have been. Given his age and background, he probably volunteered in 1914.  

Of course he’s going to not take anything seriously. Of course he can shoot. The drinking, the skittishness, the recklessness, the sense of ‘keeping your head down’, the scepticism about traditional heroism….

The one with more actual experience of death, carnage and fighting is Jonathan. Not Rick. Not Ardeth Bey. Jonathan.

When Rick says ‘I’ve had worse (situation/odds)’ and Jonathan replies “ Me too”. That’s probably true. 

Drop The Mummy into the real world context and that’s a character who’s going to have seen a lot of his school friends die, along with the myths and tales of heroism they were raised on. Sort of makes the line where Evie’s scolding him for drinking/messing about a lot darker…

Evie: Have you no respect for the dead? Jonathan: Of course I do, but sometimes I’d rather like to join them.

I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS RIGHT NOW

*record scratch*

Wait a minute. Why is it being assumed that Rick and Ardeth wouldn’t have fought in WWI, as well? Johnathan isn’t that much older than any of them–in fact, there is a good chance that he, Rick, and Ardeth are all of an age. Just because Johnathan’s hair is thinning doesn’t mean he’s a decade older.

It was a LOT easier to lie about your age back in the day. So much easier.

Johnathan is the soldier who fought in WWI and became disillusionsed with pretty much everything except wanting to live (most of the time) and live well–and where is the shame in that? He would have seen some of the darkest shit humanity has to offer, and he kept going. And the thing is, though, archaeological digs at that time were DANGEROUS. Not from curses (usually) but from assholes who would turn up with guns to try and steal anything you discovered. Johnathan never really STOPPED having to deal with dangerous pricks, it was just less dangerous than death raining down from the sky in bomb, bullet, and mustard gas form all the time.

Rick grew up in Egypt as an orphan. What paperwork? He joined the French Foreign Legion, which fought in World War I in some seriously critical battles on the Western Front in Europe. Rick is the soldier who quickly grew disillusioned with everything, but he didn’t know how to stop being a soldier. Johnathan had a career and schooling to fall back on. Rick had guns, the talent of not dying easily, and not much else. When the army finally left him behind because he was literally the only survivor of his last FFL battle, he literally didn’t know what to do. At all. “Looking for a good time” was code for “Please someone give me a fucking purpose.”

Ardeth grew up in the desert. He probably never enlisted…but if you think his people didn’t fight against invading forces during WWI, think again: that region of North Africa was swarming with soldiers on both sides, and they alll tried to claim everything they stumbled over even while in the midst of fighting each other. Ardeth spent his entire life fighting to protect what belonged to him, what belonged to his people, and trying to keep assholes from stealing things that didn’t belong to anyone (for good reason). By the time the war was over, Ardeth was disillisioned in everyone except his own people, and seriously fucking done with stupid idiots who stole in the name of archaeology. He is completely (justifiably) resigned to the worst when Rick the Magic Survivalist returns to Hamunaptra.

three internet trends i will (regrettably) probably never grow out of:

• typing in a cresCENDO TO EXPRESS EXCITEMENT • …………..unnecessarily……. long……….. ellipsis’ • puttinfh a typo in eveyr other word to shwo u dont really give a fukc but u actually do

personally I enjoy Random Capitalisation to show things are Very Important

stating something reblog if you agree

dude this isn’t even a collection of memes, this is a demonstration of internet grammar… anyone who says that when you type and communicate on the internet you lose too much inflection to get the real meaning just doesn’t understand internet syntax. the evolution of language in action.

the Rosetta Stone of the twenty first century

Also :) doing :) this :) to express :) bottled :) pain :)

or,,,,,using commas,,,,,, for elipsis’ ,,,, bc,,, it sounds better,,, in your head,,,, than periods,,,,,,,

pu t ting sp a ces in your wor ds at r and om time s because w hat the fu ck

Is it just me, or did anyone else read all of these with different tones of voice, volume, and inflection?

Don’t forget the B I G S P A C E S F O R E M P H A S I S

Person: “How’re you feeling?”

INFJ: “Sweaty and underappreciated.”

so some guy apparently came up with a scale of beauty based off of helen of sparta’s ability to launch a thousand ships with her face and it’s one of the funniest things i’ve ever read