Heart's in the music but the mind's in the clouds.

Been a good while since I stitched my first shitpostsampler pattern. Here’s a dump: part 1

They’re also displayed on my instagram: sisestitch

Submitted by  siseja

girl help i’m having creation ideas above my skill level

girl help i'm having creation ideas above my motivation level

girl help I’m having creation ideas above my free time level

[ID: A checkbox next to text reading “All of the above” End ID]

When we were children, my sister had private music lessons at her violin teacher’s house. I only visited there once, but I still remember that afternoon. The teacher had an artificial pond in her yard, a large beautiful thing with lily pads and plant life. And in the pond, there were goldfish. I had never seen such enormous goldfish. 

I spent several minutes just staring at them (and trying to convince them to bite my fingers.) When my sister’s violin lesson ended, her teacher came out to the yard and explained that these goldfish were the same small creatures that were often unfortunately sold in plastic bags at state fairs. They were only about two inches long apiece, when she bought them and put them in the new, empty pond. In essence, they were like every goldfish I had seen before, but they had been given a much larger, much richer environment in which to flourish. As a result, they had grown into some of the most remarkable, vibrant creatures my twelve-year-old self had ever met with. All because of a pond. 

Funny what lessons children remember. My sister doesn’t play the violin anymore, but that was the first time I caught a glimpse of the overwhelming extent to which it matters, the way the world treats us.

Reblogged again for this drawing I made for it

This video is a better representation of what the American south is like than any joke about rednecks ever made

Bitches are in my Labyrinth. Trying to fuck my minotaur.

please let me into the labyrinth i prommy i won’t fuck the minotaur

Not falling for that one again

i was trying to remember the “live long and prosper” motto from star trek and for a solid 10 minutes the only thing i could think of was “live big and die”

I just laughed for a solid minute at this

That’s jim’s version

Come On And Slam And Eat A Plate Of Ham

i’m vegan

Come On And Slam And Eat A Fucking Yam

I love the implication that they saw him getting raptured and they're still atheists, power move.

i’m not against vaping, but man, vaping two inches from my face on the subway is a ridiculous asshole kind of move. this dude was billowing like he was auditioning for the role of haunted house fog machine. the humidity in the whole car changed, he was ruining haircuts. just jump starting the water cycle. condensation was dripping down my glasses. people were slipping off poles, it was chaos. it was like watching one man try to terraform the moon. a planet with one dense, root beer scented atmosphere blocking out the sun and choking all life. 

i consider this a sort of prose poem to be honest

*military man enters my store*

military man: i would like to use my discount.

me: okay : )

*i text my friends this image *

me: thank you have a nice day!

*the military man exits, with me never knowing he is the legendary solid snake, ignorant of his intense hardships and personal growth*

FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF (1986) — directed by John Hughes

live laugh love… mitski marijuana minecraft

In Shark Tale (2004), you can see an advert for “Fish King”, implying that cannibalism is an accepted part of fish society.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

for context:

“Beep Beep Bitch, You’re Gay!”

Updated the lesbian flag and added nonbinary, pan, ace, and aro for all your tacky LBGTQ+ barcode needs.

Hope yall  like my abomination

That last one is fucking moving istg

at last. the gaydar