cant Focus on anything tonight lads! brain machine temporarily broke

finding job…. hard…… i’m only a baby…. no experience….. just baby. i am baby. please hire me

people on tumblr linking all the alternative ways everyone can find them like 

one time i was in a pub in london and saw lemonade on the menu and i was like mmmm lemonade!!! but i’ve been to australia and been tricked before so i was like hey is this actual lemonade lemonade or is it just sprite and she was like it’s actual lemonade so i ordered some and she brought it back and it was sprite. i hate england

when the npcs try to give me basic tips as if i haven’t been playing pokemon my whole gotdam life

every time i have an inner transformation i pick up duolingo again

Millennial self change is marked by duolingo and meal prepping

I’m a straight ally but only bc the Kissing Kate Barlow subplot in Holes was good

Everyone else is on thin fucking ice

i want to run away…but like in ghibli movie. like i take a block of cheese a loaf of bread and some apples and wander through the flower-specked mountains wrapped up in a shawl and i happen to wander into a moving castle and fall in love with a cute wizard

me (deep in the woods, dragging dufflebag of Kraft Singles™  and hopelessly lost): where’s totoro

Secret Panel HERE!

me: is minding my own business

*remembers how they killed off darwin in x men first class for no fucking reason*

me: 

snapchat, insta, and quidditch=games that gryffindor just can’t lose. 

amazing illos & hilarz captions created exclusively for SparkNotes by the awesome @sasmilledge

little known fact, once you are older & no longer in school, time stops being real. did that thing happen one year ago? two? five? a few months ago? who knows. 

when you’re really drunk looking in the mirror

BIG MOOD