aeiou

Unmute !

Oh my goodness, that's a lot of opinions.

Rolling AND crispy meows.

MOST BASS ARE JUST FISH BUT LEROY BROWN WAS SOMETHING SPECIAL

Leroy Brown has been haunting me, so I looked into his backstory and it's wilder than you could possibly imagine.

Leroy Brown was about one pound when he was caught in 1973 in Lake Eufala, Alabama, by Tom Mann, who is absolutely legendary in the world of bass fishing. Instead of releasing or taking him home to eat, Mann decided he recognized a spark of something special in the fish, so he took him home and popped him in his backyard pond. Later, he moved the fish to a giant aquarium in his workshop. He was an aggressive fish, so he got named after the song. And Mann loved this fish. He trained him to jump through a hoop, he hand-fed him, he would talk about him to anybody. The fish became internationally known, with publicity in Russia, South Africa, Australia, and other countries.

Then, in 1980, the fish dies- probably of old age. So what to do? Have a funeral. Various sources say between 500 and 1,200 people came (there was a very large bass fishing tournament that weekend), and the local marching band was there to play "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown" as the fish's tiny casket was lowered into his grave.

But then things got really wild. On the day of the funeral, it was eventually decided that the ground was too wet and muddy, so Mann put the fish and his casket (actually a satin-lined tackle box full of one dead fish and the lure he was caught with) in the freezer.

That night, somebody stole the dead fish and his tiny casket.

Seriously. This was not a taxidermy fish, this was just. Y'know. A dead fish, with all of the smells that entails.

Three weeks later, the tackle box turns up at the Tulsa, Oklahoma airport. A baggage handler found it, and it was decided that the box full of three-week-old decaying Leroy was too nasty to ship back to Alabama. The statue remained at Fish World, which is where the public could visit Leroy during his life, until 2005, when Tom Mann died and the facility was closed. (Fish World was like... a weird museum/facility to learn about bass fishing. Mann wasn't just an expert angler, he also designed some of the most popular lures that are still used in bass fishing, as well as the Humminbird depth finder- still the most popular depth finder brand on the market. So he had this workshop/lure lab there and people could come see his stuff but also learn about how to go bass fishing and how to do bass fishing as a sport.) The statue went to another bass fisherman, until the city of Eufala asked for it back in 2016. Now it sits prominently on Main Street, reminding everyone that most bass are just fish, but Leroy Brown was something special.

Under communism the wait staff will not ask if Pepsi is okay. You will not even find out that's its Pepsi instead of coke until you take your first sip. Unless you train like me, to know the difference from the sound of the Fizz alone, that is the only way we can beat communism and I can teach you. Take my hand. Not like that you grabbed it gay. Stop. Giggles. I SAID STOP

I can tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi by scent, is that weird?

its really weird

Nobody throws shade like a biologist with burning hatred for invasive plants

reading this deposition that just got dropped where someone sued musk and ohhhh my god it is this funniest thing ever . i can see why his lawyer tried to keep this confidential . they’re both maybe the biggest idiots . this is like ace attorney

PLEASE read this

bankston is my HERO he’s tearing these people apart

damn

HE LEFT

????

oh my god

KILL HIM

he is DONE.

HELP ME .

wow. ok.

genuinely first two pages he says that he thinks ben’s lawyer is the one who is actually suing him and admits he has no clue what the lawsuit is about .

doing a reread now this is so cunty

goddamn .

fun fact: the Mr. Bankston here is Mark Bankston, the same lawyer who absolutely ruined Alex Jones during the Sandy Hook trial.

@glare-quietly

You know what you REALLY can’t kill in a way that matters? Mint.

Mint ought to be the true symbol of resurrection. None of this Jesus stuff.

Me when I use the blender that makes 50% of all turtles feel immeasurable pain

It's funny that so many people are already spooked by the milquetoast pro-piracy stance of "piracy is morally justifiable" as if it's a radical dangerous idea because my I'm already on the much more based position of "piracy is morally virtuous"

Many people relate this to piracy as archival and, don't get me wrong, that's one of the reasons why piracy is good. BUT also even withuout the angle of archival, piracy is still morally virtuous because it breaks laws designed to impose artificial scarcity of digital goods.

Scarcity within digital spaces (where anything can be infinitely copied as many times as you want without having to worry about production costs) is so made up that the only way for it to exist is for an external force like the government to create laws that exist to enforce it. Laws that exist to artifically create scarcity where there would otherwise be none are evil, and defying them is morally virtuous.

*Sees a thoroughly rusted Cybertruck abandoned by the side of the road*

Me: "Wow, how far in the future did we go?"

My time-traveller friend: "About two weeks."

young artist posting your work online, heed my warning. im holding your face so gently in my hands, you have to stop caring about numbers right now and start caring about making the weirdest and most self-indulgent art you possibly can

STOP listening to the demon of capitalism and START listening to the angel of hedonism, i love you i believe in you keep making what you love forever ok?

nefarious anglerfish my beloved

Growing up is actually all about realizing people don’t inherently dislike you and it’s a bit odd to assume they do

This

there are more tweets in this thread

fucking SLAY

this isnt even the full thread, there are even MORE tweets to this thread that i think are really necessary to read if you do what op is talking about! it is not enough to know that feeling this way hurts the people you love, we already know that.

this rest of the thread continues after the third tweet from the reblog.

like THE FULL THREAD is genuinely so reassuring.

sometimes, it is not enough to just know, sometimes you might need that reassurance of "do you really think of me when i'm away?" and someone reassuring you that yeah, they do. and evaluate that! trust that! just like op did.

and then learning that ykw, it's NOT any of my business really. and finding comfort in that trust that like. whether they are or aren't thinking of me, they really do love me.

this full thread changed my life and i am ALWAYS going to give the full thread because the parts people cut out aren't enough for the people experiencing these things, speaking as someone who does. it, really it just makes us, made me, feel bad about my own capabilities when i saw the unfinished thread.

a noble sacrifice

me when i watch funny dog video

#i will sacrifice myself for the soup#leave the child alone take me my meat may be old but it is plentiful (@rockpapertheodore)

i’m going to kdxjdhdjhddjjdhs

TWO??? Having a private jet at all is bad enough on its own but why the fuck does she need two of them???

TUMBLR IS SO BORING WITH ALL YOU NERDS AT DASHCON

((you all better come back with some amazing tales))

#scrap of bloodstained paper you find in a dungeon #or clutched in a skeleton’s fist (via @beaft)