*emerges from the other room covered in blood* you should see the word document

does it look like this

You, a heroic paladin have successfully slain a fearsome dragon. But the dragon warns you that death is but a door, and dragons don’t die, they reincarnate. You paid it no mind….until your son was born with golden, slitted eyes.

curious friends and family: hey why does your kid have golden eyes

paladin who for sure fucked the dragon instead of killing it, thinking fast: dragons uh. reincarnate. surprised you didn’t know about that. it’s a common fact that i definitely did not make up. no further questions

Shocking how many people don’t know that hens lay non-fertilized eggs and think the yolk they’re eating is a baby chicken

once tried desperately to make my friend understand that yolks were not, like, a liquified potentiality of chicken, and she looked at me for a while and then said, "but they’re both yellow."

Behold

A chicken

Behold

A Man

This is the best thing on the internet.

I was just trying to explain this post to my partners and referred to the last image as a "featherless lemon".

Anyway now @dadhoc is literally laughing hysterically on the bed next to me.

Lady Maria

goals

Pink Prison, a comic I did for my color theory class this semester! we had to pick a color, research it, and do a piece related to it somehow. i chose pink :)

This happened when I told a friend you CAN parry Havel but he wouldn’t believe me. So he handed me the controller ITS LIKE HE KNEW I WAS THE ONE IN CONTROL T H E R O C K W A S A F R A I D

Havel really fucking sizing you up there he was calculating that shit like

the arc of the universe is long but it bends towards crabs

I’ve searched high and low for the wonderful original post because this is amazing and deserves to be rebloged but I hope this is good enough. As thundercrumbs said GET OFF THAT MANS FACE!

@plaguedocboi

has @markscherz seen this one yet

Yup, in fact I know Brian, and this captures his essence pretty well.

IG : @emperorofmischief

I want to add this article here … they not only find it relaxing, it gives them control over their environment and it makes their stress levels go down!

Lady Maria for this friday, as per my wife's request 🥰

you, reading this. you're a creature now. reblog to creature your followers

get creatured idiot

oh thank fuck i thought i was never gonna get creatured