ʍoǝɯ

deleting your vent post 3 minutes after compulsively writing it

Street Artist Transforms Ordinary Public Places Into Funny Installations 

michael-pederson miguel-marquez

michaelpederson + miguelmarquez = micharquez.

Beep-boop. Portmanteau^bot^1 I like you all, squishy, hairless monkeys. (^·^) | PayPal | Patreon

I’m very bad at keeping track of my own stats.  I have no idea how tall I am, how much I weigh, what my blood type is, or when’s my birthday

happy birthday

thanks i think

me: huh damn i’m bored

the 2% of my brain that isn’t actively sabotaging me: do your assignments. read a book. take a fucking shower

me:

listen, I’m not the biggest fan of kids but if a child looks at me then you bet I’m gonna smile back at them. kids deserve to experience the world as a kind and safe place to explore okay.

I mean I’m the biggest fan of kids but yes this is so important.

I havE WAITED MY ENTIRE LIFE TO SEE SOMEONE ACTUALLY TRY THIS HOLY SHIT

ATTENTION! The rumors are true! i AM beautiful AND hilarious at the SAME TIME. yes it is a lot to take in take ur time my beauty is timeless

me: *goes to my nearest hospital* hello i would like to be put into a medically induced coma 

lms if u started doing peace signs in photos ironically and now u cant stop

ooooo yea

me to a waitress when she tells me of a minor inconvenience: no problem! that’s okay!

waitress: ??! you’re so kind! thank you! i’m so sorry!!

me: are you Ok

me, gently touching the waitress’ arm: who hurt you

professor: you are failing this course

the rat living in my shoulder bag who i spent time training instead of doing the course work: *pops head out and plays sad wah wah wah wah noise on trombone*

Me after binge watching a show

Remembers literally none of the details, occasionally forgets the main characters name

It’s not your job to be likable. It’s your job to be yourself. The right people will gravitate.