Infinite lives

All this, and the fact that if the ocean had sharks as big as Megalodon and had enough of them to sustain the species at all, we would have found at least one Megalodon tooth washed up on a beach somewhere that wasn’t fossilized. More likely, we would have found hundreds of such teeth every year for as long as we have existed. “We didn’t know giant squid existed!” is a common argument I see from cryptozoologists, but it’s also flat out false. We did know. We knew there were giant squid for centuries because we found remains of them for centuries. We simply hadn’t captured or filmed a live one!

Okay, so I am well aware that this isn’t at all how evolution or natural selection works, but I still want a horror film that begins with a pair of scientists with dramatic music playing in the background as they pour over piles of records, until one of them turns to the other and says “it’s the whales. They’re becoming smaller, and more skittish.”

The other scientist looks out the window, over the sea. “Mother of god,” she whispers.

Alternatively;

We begin to find giant shark teeth washing up on shore. People freak out. “Scientists find evidence megalodons never went extinct!”

Then the lead scientist calms everyone down so they can explain. “No. It’s worse than that. If they never went extinct, we would’ve found evidence like this before now. This means… ” Dramatically takes off glasses. 

“They’ve just come back.”

“But they can’t just suddenly come back like that!”

“You’re right. Someone brought them back.”

i finally remembered 4/13

So like… is she tokyo cyberpunk or seattle cyberpunk?

Tokyo Cyberpunk: Emphasizes human relationship to technology, identity, psychological transhumanism, and the human-as-resource. In Tokyo Cyberpunk - Capitalism wants to own you.

Seattle Cyberpunk: Emphasizes class analysis through technology disparity, physical transhumanism, and the disposability of humans. In Seattle Cyberpunk - Capitalism wants you gone.

Aesthetically speaking…

Tokyo Cyberpunk showcases nightlife where clean streets are illuminated by neon signs tempting you into consumerism as a therapy for your alienation. It’s percieved cleanliness acts as a symbol where corporations justify their rulership through the illusion of social progress. The robot is friendly, companionable. Societal problems and capitalist contradiction are silenced and swept away without the common person knowing.

Seattle Cyberpunk showcases a nightlife of homelessness and decay with corporate monoliths on the horizon. The streetlights no longer work, but the darkness is kept partially at bay by the neon tubes of bars where people watch wishes of their youth vanish at the bottom of the bottle. The lucky ones working for the corporations do so with the fear they will be kicked to the street. The robot is an expression of force intended to keep the common person afraid. Corporations do not try to justify their rulership, social problems and contradiction are solved with force.

hey OP these are two sides of the same coin, cyberpunk’s “high-tech, low-life” formula is explicitly about people from Column Seattle interfering with the high-gloss worlds of Column Tokyo. Neuromancer, the iconic progenitor of the series, describes Chiba City’s black clinics, peaks of technology carefully manicured by robots and advancing technology at a breathtaking pace, as within WALKING DISTANCE of Night City, where grungy expats and criminals hold wet markets and coffin hotels house the nameless throngs. If you take a wrong turn down those clean neon-lit streets, you are suddenly in the dirty, blood-soaked underworld. No intercontinental flights required. Makoto Kusanagi slums it in the garbage-covered back alleys to meet her contacts before slipping into a polished military building to put pressure on her contacts, then investigates some garbage man whose brain has been hacked and implanted with false memories. Post-WWIV Japan’s Tokyo is wracked by refugee crises, corruption, terrorism, and corporate greed. The vast, vast majority of science fiction fits into either of these categories. Warhammer 40K is now Seattle Cyberpunk. Her (2013) is now Tokyo cyberpunk. These classifications are at best incomplete, and at worst actively miss the whole point of the genre. Cyberpunk is about the globalization of capitalism and the inescapability of it, whether you’re inside or outside the system, and the way that even the outsiders are commodified, profited from and controlled. These aren’t separate genres or even separate subgenres, they are all cyberpunk, and separating them in this way is a fundamental misunderstanding of the genre.

me after smoking half a bowl and drinking one bourbon on a weeknight

me after taking Yak tranquilizers in a berlin warehouse

you need to change your life styles or you might pass away .

you CANNOT hold me accountable for accidentally making a homestuck reference when i've never read homestuck. if you recognized it that's YOUR problem it's YOUR sin.

@electronicgameinformation fantastic post thank you

the reviews are in

Horses in Your Wifi is now on Youtube!

I have a story about the Not Deer from two summers ago. I lived deep in the Appalachia mountains at the time, unlike the foothills I’m in now. I was wandering in the woods, probably two thirds of a mile from my house at that point, as one does when they live two miles down a twisting dirt road with the nearest town (and therefore things to do) thirty minutes away, when I heard brush moving. I knew it was probably a harmless animal- a possum, or a deer, maybe a particularly destructive rabbit, and I turned to look.

well. hm. it was a deer in the way that a graveyard is a playground. you can treat it as such, I guess, but it won’t feel the same.

it was about thirty feet away from me, staring. wild deer don’t stare at random people to begin with- they just run away. she was breathing hard and making a low rumbling sound. I didn’t really know what to do, and I hadn’t really thought about the dangers of going near wild animals even if they are “harmless” deer, so I went towards her.

I swear to god, this thing’s eyes blanked out and it took a couple jerking steps forward, moving really strangely? and I flinched, because what the hell, and then she ran off to the side while staring at me until she was about fifty feet away. it was deeply unsettling in a way that I can’t explain and I know that that thing was not quite a deer.

I sprinted all the way home.

I’ve seen something like this myself. I would say “The joints went the wrong way” but it was more that there might have been more or less joints than you’d expect? The bends were not where the bends go. And the shape of the face was wrong in a way I’d describe as: You have a friend who only draws wolves. They’re really, really, really good at wolves. You want them to draw a deer. They try their best, and neither of you are exactly pleased with the results. There was also an issue of scale - like you gave a deer the proportions of a moose.

I’ve heard “Deer” comes from “Deor” which just means “beast” or “quadruped” so… it was definitely a Deor, but 100% not a Deer. 

I collect spooky stories from other people and a friend once told me about driving back from a “ghost hunt” out in SE Oklahoma, seeing what they described as “like a deer” that stood in the middle of the road, and refused to move. So when one of them got out to go shoo it away by hand they all realized, about the same time… that it was only almost a deer. They described the collective reaction as wildly disproportionate to what they remember having seen - which was just … not quite a deer?

They said there was about fifteen minutes of foot to the floor speeding before they all, right about the same time, felt a change in mood come over them and they began to sob like “little scared kids”. It was only weeks later that they were like “You know… deer don’t look anything like that.”

I too have seen a not-deer. For cryptidology purposes, i was about two miles away from the house on brokeass mountain, which is near Wyndham in the Catskills. I was driving home, so going up the mountain, around 11:45 pm, early September.  It’s all woods and small fields up there, few houses. There was some moonlight. We have so many deer up here that I never drive over twenty-five after twilight, so I was going slowly and actually watching for movement.

I saw a head and shoulders come out of the foliage and stopped, thinking someone had lost a dog because it had face markings like a Doberman. Then it came onto the road and looked at me and it was not a dog. It had the build and size of a whitetail, but it was black and marked with brown. Then I thought, is it a weird BEAR? But when it turned and went down the road it didn’t have the humpy, bunchy movement of a hurrying bear. And bears up here don’t hurry. So that was what I saw, sort of a dogdeer. I wasn’t actually surprised to see something weird up here because it’s just the kind of place you WOULD see something weird. Never seen it again.

“Modern Mythology” by Maggie McCloskey  (via clearlyprocrastinating)

Homosexuality explained in a German Children’s Book

Its my personal belief that the “but how do you explain it to the kids?” crowd, has never explained anything to a child in their lives.

Kesha: There’s a place downtown where the freaks all come around 😜 It’s a hole in the wall it’s a dirty free-for-all 😏

12 year old me:

I hope that “between the crematorium and the dildo store” becomes a famous saying for whenever a person has lost in the most pathetic and undignified way possible. Sort of like how we still use the phrase “crossing the Rubicon” two thousand years after the event. 

May I suggest “between a cock and a charred place”?

Cinderella…

it’s sometimes hard to believe rasputin was real. like there’s no non-fucked up part of rasputin’s existence

did he do something problematic i thought he was just russia’s greatest love machine

basic (true) story: fanatical russian monk who has almost never shaved or washed and smells like goats shows up at the russian capital with a creepy look on his beardy face and everyone just assumes he’s a prophet or a saint because he’s got a cult following that believes he can cure illnesses. his stans are sexually obsessed with him and he gets just a fuckton of russian pussy wherever he goes cause apparently he can cure his true believers of illness with god-given dick magic. russia’s queen has him come stay at the palace and sets him up in luxury because she thinks he can cure her son’s haemophilia with the power of russian goat jesus, and they (allegedly) become lovers, probably, ‘cause she craves that unwashed goat-scented dick like the rest of his cult which she now  (allegedly) belongs to. 

then the worst assassins in the history of assassinations try to assassinate him, because all of russia is slutshaming the queen he has too much power over the royal family and it’s helping revolutionaries turn people against the royals. so these idiots have him round for tea and cakes which are poisoned with cyanide, but he is magically unaffected by poison they get the dose wrong and he doesn’t die, and then he drinks three glasses of wine, which are also poisoned, and he doesn’t die, so they tell him to look at a crucifix and shoot him in the chest with a revolver when he isn’t looking, and he doesn’t die, but they think he’s dead so one of them dresses in his clothes and gets driven to his apartment to make it look like he’s gone home to hide the crime, and when they come back he gets up and attacks them, so they stab him in the side with a knife, and he doesn’t die, and then he frees himself and runs outside, so they shoot him a few times more, including in the forehead, and they wrap his body up and chuck him in the icy river, and he doesn’t go into the water, so his body is found on the ice the next day. and get this…. he died…. of hypothermia.

additionally, everyone who wasnt in the party of getting rid of rasputin was pretty bummed out when they found him and his miracle dick dead the next day and there was a pretty bangin funeral of which the royal family themselves attended. however after the tsar was overthrown a few month later they exhumed his body and burned it because the new leadership was very adamant about making sure there were no ties left to honor the old monarchy. however this dudes body had never been properly prepped for a cremation which meant that under the extreme heat his tendons and ligaments began to retract and shrink causing his dead body to move and twitch around as if still animate. according to some testimony his body actually sat up straight on the pyre, and at least one spectator fired a gun at the body and another may have allegedly died of shock.

Rasputin was an old god from times before humans

He is like a cleric gone wild

“did rasputin do something problematic” i am going to die

AL JAFFEE Playboy 1966-08

oh boy i cant wait to get my own pair ot Ray-Ban sunglasses for only 24.99