queen of my imaginary kingdom

siri, skip to the part where I’m married to the loml and life is good

me listening to a 9 year old album I’ve had memorized since 2012 like it’s brand new

get in loser, we’re driving a new maserati down a dead end street

dog teeth #79

for fucking real right now

tbh if someone just handed me a pressure washer and set me loose in the streets i would go into a trance and just start hosing shit down indiscriminately. it's not a question of how much i could clean, but how long until i get hit by a car and die

All I’m seeing is a well paying job with good customers

Also?

MANY religions worldwide would consider this a solemn and respected post of work. Every form of paganism I have personally run across would say you’re doing an important duty. In Judaism, we’d say you’re fulfilling a Mitzvah by respecting the dead and honoring their memories.

If you go in with good intentions, any spirits still hanging around WILL NOT HURT YOU. Just show them respect.

Also seriously that’s nearly $17k a MONTH. I’ve had jobs where I didn’t earn that in a YEAR.

Even if those ghosts ain’t friendly, I am full-on taking that job. $200k a year. $200k a fuckin year. No retail, no food service, no manager hovering and riding my ass, no annoying coworkers? I’ll deal with the ghosts.

i’d take ghosts over people any day <3

Fresh air, no sitting in an office, no customer service, just me and a bunch of gravestones and maybe Maria from three graves down having a hissy? For that money, what’s not to like?

Plus like, what ghost is gonna decide ‘yes today I will take horrible vengeance on the person who quietly and respectfully keeps the plants tended and the headstones clean’. Whoever they’re gonna fuck with, it’s not gonna be me.

Fr tho, since when have you ever heard of the graveyard keeper being the one haunted? It’s always the dumbass who doesn’t listen to their advice that gets got.

Me and Miss. Johnson sharing some gossip while I tend to the rose bush her lover planted next to stone last year.

Remember: toe beans are the sign of a killer.

Beans spotted

THANK YOU

Like...if I wanted to be sad I’d watch a drama on Netflix in the “based on a true story” section

i am addicted addicted addicted addicted to anything that distracts me. i cannot deal with my own thoughts, memories, emotions. i dont want to think about myself or my life or anything at all related to me. 

The Art of Kiki’s Delivery Service (2006 art book)