this girl at uni was dressed sooo gay and then i found out she's just straight with a lesbian mom. dykebaiting is not a victimless crime 😔

date her mom ?

date her mom

Don't forget to sleep on your neck at a weird angle tonight. I love you

PSA

here's your friendly reminder that firefox is a nonprofit organization and they've rolled out a bunch of ACTUAL privacy features in the past year alone, including complete built-in protection from tracking

So you know how lots of birds just find humans really sexy? Like how they're constantly trying to seduce humans, and if you have pet birds there's whole guides for how to not give your bird mixed signals and make them think you're their mate, and how they keep trying to drive off the partners of their owners/carers as rivals

And people who own or live near these types of birds just kind of have to live with this, like they just gotta accept that that's how birds are and work around it

I like to think that that's how gods feel about the tiresome human propensity to worship them at the drop of a hat

My apologies to everyone in the notes who are just now learning about the Many Birds Find Humans Sexy thing

There are lyrebirds on the mountain pass I take to get to uni every day. The male lyrebirds apparently think motorcycles are the height of sexiness because around spring I always have to careful for the lyrebirds standing in the middle of the bloody road doing their song and dance routine at me.

Sir, yes your dance and collected sounds is very intriguing but I am the wrong species and just trying not to run you over!

Beautiful Singles Are Shooting By At 60 MPH In Your Area

“ExcUSE me?!”

the thing i love about social animals is they necessarily have a concept of manners which means that you can be rude to them. not threatening, but rude. and they’ll be annoyed at you for it.

Why is this person being a dick to an innocent Beast

science ?

imagine a video of a crepe being made and then imagine the audio that might go along with it. whatever you just imagined is wrong

she commit acts of intercourse on my erogeneous zones until i achieve sexual climax

No she doesnt. You made this up for notes.

Okay, but why can't we have sunken pits for people to sit around an groove in anymore?

conversation pits, my beloved.

You can still have one if you have a backhoe and are brave.

In concept I love these. In practice I am going to forget it's there and break my neck the moment anything is on my mind other than carefully watching my every step in my own home which is just not a concern I am naturally conditioned to have

That's why my conversation pit will be full of gelatine

hey . are you using that boy for anything or can i borrow it

don't ask why. normal reason

Okay sounds good i trust you tumblr user boymounter

hey hold up whatt are u doing

worst thing is when you're on setting 3 and it's still not enough, bro pass the car battery or i'm gonna lose it

hey what does this mean

I'm gonna jump start my pussy

ok

I thought this was just a post about what month was coming up.

Bitch I don’t even know you. And you’re a deer.

ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

FETCH ME NEIL

Absolutely love the vibes this guy is bringing to the table

I lost my mind when I saw this costume!

In Celtic mythology the white stag is a messenger from the otherworld, often a harbinger. It often appears when one has transgressed, and must atone or be undone. And yet it is also associated with prosperity. In this case, a white stag shows up in the house of prosperity to show them their own transgressions and brings ruin upon their house. That's Oliver. The white stag showing the aristocrats their transgressions and each of them fails to atone and is summarily undone. Except the father. The knight who banishes the white stag. Who lives out the rest of his life free of Oliver, who only returns to Saltburn upon his death.

The jacket embroidery is oak and acorns. This is often representative of power, victory, and enduring hardship. It also represents sorrow.

I saw this costume and I knew this deranged little freak would bring this house to ruin. I lost my fucking mind when I saw this costume.