bitches

me: gets a solid 8 hrs of sleep

me: wakes up exhausted

me: ok first of all

honestly…the best part of 2016

remember when u used to go over to ur friends house and youd go down to the ‘computer room’ to the dads old shitty desktop computer and sit on the giant black leather computer chair and ur friend would show u charlie the unicorn and epic rap battles of history type stuff on youtube while thier younger siblings bugged you for a turn to use the computer

Greyhounds in clothing are too pure for this earth

On some real shit, I do not fuck with people who ride those boat things at the carnival. People who get on those do not give a fuck about life, they don’t care about you, ya mama or your kids. They literally have nothing to lose. You don’t care about life so there’s no need for me to fight you because you’re not going to give a damn about my face. 

THIS JOINT!!!!

BITCHHHHHHH. I got on this shit when I was 12. Wasn’t no bar, no protection, nothing in that shit. I didn’t realize until it was too late. You couldn’t pay me to ever get on this shit ever again in my life. We were in Landover, this shit almost smooth flipped my ass to Baltimore. No. Never again. 

12? I got on this bitch when I was 21 and had my head in my ex’s shoulder the ENTIRE time. Screaming like a bih too. Nope. Never again. I was praying to the gravity gods the entire time.

?????? All it does is swing back and forth???? I don’t understand the concern??????

centrifugal force keeps you in your seat.

Centrifugal force isn’t keeping me from crying tho

These things were created by satan

resting your phone between your head and shoulder while you’re talking and feeling like a responsible and hectic businesswoman from a 2007 rom com with filing to do

Brad Kane, the singing voice of Aladdin, is literally riding a hover-board around our office singing “A Whole New World”

Protect him

hmu (hit me up)

hmu inside (cant hit up)

Sue fucking OBLITERATED him

Gives a whole new meaning to the hash tag #DumpTheTrump lol

the only gif that really matters from the 1989 World Tour Live, tbh.