ok do this and tell me how much u got

My dad was dealing with some mixed feelings so I told him "In therapy when something is too complicated to do a simple 'pro and contra list' we sometimes do an excercise where you imagine all these mixed feelings around a table in some kind of conference, letting each tell their bit and you leading the debate."

and my dad didn't really respond and just stared ahead so I kept preparing lunch. Until a few minutes later when he suddenly piped up: "I am having a bad time at the conference"

I too am having a bad time at the conference

Reblog if you too are having a bad time at the conference

Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"

More from the notes:

I love this post

The horse thinks as it scratches an itch

i know dearly that many of my mutuals are musicians so i hope this one breaches containment cause i really want to know the wider tumblr scope on this one

[image description: felted Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, with black text - “deviation from the norm will be punished unless it is exploitable”]

#he deadnames his child I deadname his website

First it was “go to college”

Then it was “major in STEM”

Then it was “one year experience”

Then it was “three years experience”

Then it was “three years of DIRECTLY RELATED experience”

Then it was five years of DIRECTLY RELATED experience"

Now, if you didn’t practically invent the technology a company uses, you’ve got no shot.

“but I started in the mailr..”

Nobody gives a f*ck about how you started in the mail room. You’re the CEO now. The mail room job is an unpaid internship now, and it requires 3 years of directly related mail delivery experience to even be considered. Sit down.

Holy shit, you reblogged this from 3 years ago and, like… there’s not a word here I’d change

A family of five supported on a single income (give or take a career of the week episode) from a non-college graduate who own their own home.

When it premiered in 1989, the Simpsons were lower middle-class. Now their economic situation is near mythical.

My mom’s girlfriend works at a paper factory. She said they basically use chemicals and machines to make sure the color, density, and shape are all consistent on the pieces of paper they produce. She got that job in the 1980’s.

She once told me that when she started anywho got at least halfway through highschool was applicable. Now that job requires a college degree in chemistry and a degree in machinery. The real kicker she told me: almost nothing about the job has changed. They are still using the same chemicals and basically the same machine. Almost nothing about the job has changed but suddenly the standards are much higher. She makes about 50k a year as a manager.

Out July 23, 2024!

hey quick question why did no one ever tell me how fucking insane M*A*S*H is?? their commanding officer is a horse girl. the secretary has psychic powers. this guy walks around a 1950s military outpost in drag and everyone’s just like hey nice dress. the protagonist who is supposed to be the best surgeon in the entire korean war spends every episode strutting around drunk in a hawaiian shirt making homoerotic wisecracks and asking the nurses to step on him like some sort of unhinged bisexual jimmy buffet. guys what the hell is going on in this army doctor show

That is just how the Army is.

War, war never changes.

According to my great uncle, who was IN the Korean war, no other show has so accurately captured what the average M.A.S.H base was like.

“Unhinged bisexual jimmy buffet” is how I’m going to describe my gender from now on

oh uh. scuse me. just a lil snail crossing your dash

I love how certain I am that I’m not the only person who stopped scrolling to let the snail finish crossing the dash.  

In fact, I would bet small sums of money that the majority of Tumblr folk do.    

Rb for the lil hops it does at the end before it finishes crossing 🥺💓

This doesn’t include the best bit of the whole thing - she found the Twitter thread!

This is like one of those romance novels where people bond over accidentally writing each other emails but better.

Like Pride and Prejudice but instead of the love interest getting dissed for his toxicity and then reforming, it’s just two people bonding over dissing a dead toxic asshole.

10/10 would recommend

“stop traumadumping to your friends tell this to your therapist” my god they paywalled human connection

“If a friend of mine gave a feast, and did not invite me to it, I should not mind a bit. but if a friend of mine had a sorrow and refused to allow me to share it, I should feel it most bitterly. If he shut the doors of the house of mourning against me, I would move back again and again and beg to be admitted so that I might share in what I was entitled to share. If he thought me unworthy, unfit to weep with him, I should feel it as the most poignant humiliation.”

Oscar Wilde

Missed the boat on that one a little

good thing the ferry runs every 20 minutes.

I Hate How She Talks About Snow White

"People are making these jokes about ours being the PC Snow White, where it's like, yeah, it is − because it needed that. It's an 85-year-old cartoon, and our version is a refreshing story about a young woman who has a function beyond 'Someday My Prince Will Come. "

Let me tell you a little something's about that "85-year-old cartoon," miss Zegler.

It's legacy endures. Your little "85-year-old cartoon" sold more than 1 million DVD copies upon re-release. Just on its first day. The Beatles quoted Snow White in one of their songs. Legacy directors call it "the greatest film ever made." Everything from Rolling Stones to the American Film Institute call this move one of the most influential masterpieces of our culture. This movie doesn't need anything from anybody. This movie is a cultural juggernaut for America. It's a staple in the art of filmmaking--and art, in general. It is the foundation of the Walt Disney Company, of modern children's media in the West, and of modern adaptations of classical fairy tales in the West. When you think only in the base, low, mean terms of "race" and "progressivism" you start taking things that are actually worlds-away from being in your league to judge, and you relegate them to silly ignorant phrases like "85-year-old cartoon" to explain why what you're doing is somehow better.

Sit down and be humble. Who the heck are you?

Rewatching Gravity Falls and Ford-Dipper is such a funny dynamic

oh to be a puppet desperately grappling with your decaying sense of identity in a neverending surreal nightmare world. youre also gay