“MAYBE IT’S NOT MY WEEKEND, BUT IT’S GONNA BE MY YEAR” I scream at 12 am with tears streaming down my face and a bottle of champagne in my hand. it has not been my year yet. it’s not even a weekend today is Thursday

One night you realise you can continue dreams from previous nights. You start building your perfect life but in your obsession you start neglecting reality.

Today on “rules of English language I didn’t realise were a thing until someone pointed it out”

Dear person reading this, 

      You deserve a life full of happiness and positivity. So don’t let others get to you and believe in yourself.

Wishing all my amigos the best

My man Jesus

Matthew 5:29, for the curious/uninitiated.

Me

Me when my boss gives me actual work to do

It’s kinda cool how we all speak different languages but the sound for a laugh is universal.

Remember that time Daleks and Cybermen had sass-off?

THIS IS LITERALLY MY FAVE SCENE FROM DOCTOR WHO EVER I AM NOT EVEN JOKING I AM SO GLAD SOMEONE MADE A POST OF IT I THINK ABOUT THIS MORE OFTEN THAN IS NORMAL UGH IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY

No one sasses better than the Daleks and Cybermen. No one.

I loved this ridiculous moment so much okay

ANGRY CYBORG SASS OFF

This was my favourite bit

It’s even better because they’re both voiced by the same guy, so it’s basically a guy sassing himself.

just like tyler joseph, i too can start screaming at any second

“A nut for a jar of tuna” is the same backwards

when has this sentence ever been said naturally for you to realize this

Tell someone you love them today, because life is short, but scream it at them in German because life is also confusing and scary.

So I see club penguin is trending and I want to tell you all something

When I was in 4th grade I had no friends. I was bullied almost everyday and it was normal for me to be seen with cuts and bruises on my arms and legs from kids beating me up. I was called ugly and when new kids came, they were told not to sit near me or talk to me. I had two things keeping me going, reading and playing on club penguin after school. I had internet friends on club penguin. Even though we didn’t have each other’s phone numbers or email addresses(I was told at least twice a year at school to never give those out online), I considered them my best friends and we almost always played games and talked to each other on club penguin. This happened because we would plan it through the messages on there. I’m older now and I just heard two weeks ago that club penguin is shutting down.I haven’t gotten on since the beginning of 5th grade because I started making friends after my bullies were put into other classes and/or held back in 4th grade. But I will always remember that website and what it got me through.

As a little kid it was a huge bother to look both ways before running across the street. Now I feel compelled to look both ways when I get to the end of an aisle in a grocery store.

Today is the only day you can share this meme. Precisely 2000 years prior to March 6th 4017. The day Squidward trapped himself in the freezer. March 6th 2017.

if you don’t think history is amusing then you’re wrong because one time 3 different guys declared themselves pope all at once and they all excommunicated each other and it was basically the funniest shit ever

what about that time the Lichtenstein army sent 80 men to Italy to fight and came back with 81  

what about that one mexican president who lasted 45 minutes in office

Also apparently when Napoleon invaded Egypt, the Egyptians wanted to get in his good favor, so they sent two teenage girls to him for use as he pleased, Napoleon was not happy because he was in love with Josephine. So he sent them back, but apparently the Egyptian ministers misunderstood.

Because they sent back two young boys.

that last one sent me into hysterics