We can be mended. We mend each other.

scotallison said: you do whatever you need to do to be happy, angel! sending you my best wishes

Thank you so so much love, really! It means a lot!! I really do miss you all ahhhh :') <33333

Hi all, Naomi here. I know it has been a very long time since I was last active on here, and I'm not really sure which of you remember me, but truly - I have a story to tell and I know it's long but, it would really mean a lot if you would take the time to read it as it is important and very relevant. I have no idea how many of my followers are still around and which ones have come and gone (which is of course ENTIRELY understandable) over this time period in which I was away. I want everyone to know that I have reasons behind my absence, and valid ones I believe. I did not just fall off the face of the earth or disappear into thin air or deliberately abandon my tumblr family and my blog which I had truly built up with so much love, time, effort and dedication. 

3 years ago, I was diagnosed with a chronic illness - nothing life threatening but something EXTREMELY harsh on my body and my everyday life, I was left completely bedridden unable to get up for more than an hour or so at a time - and for 2 years straight I was left in this position, 2 full years of absolute isolation, weakness and loss of the life that I loved - a life that was full of light, happiness and activity. I had everything that I wanted at the time, and every last bit of it flashed before my eyes. Friends (and there were a pretty decent amount I might add) left my side one by one until there was no one left. I was broken, and headed for depression. (Which was a very big deal for me, as I am a very happy and emotionally stable person by nature - although it was not a very deep and serious case of it, depression was a huge shock to my system) So, I had nothing to do and nothing to lose at the time, so what did I turn to? Tumblr. Tumblr and the world of fiction gave me something to love and immerse myself in. I met wonderful people with common interests and discovered my love for photoshop and editing. Coming on here and obsessing over shows and celebrities was really the only thing that made me happy during those years, anything else that made me happy, were things that no bedridden person could participate in, so really this was all I felt I had. People may think of it as a small and stupid little thing, but maybe that's just what I needed - something light hearted and fun to take away some of the pain and frustration. So I slowly built up my blog and followers and became more and more involved and proud of the fact that it was successful and that I really had found a way to escape. It wasn't long until it became an addiction, and it goes without saying that sitting in bed with a hot laptop with radiation on your body day in a day out for absolute hours on end is not good for anyone's health, but especially not for someone with a chronic illness. I was not aware of it at the time but I do believe this helped to deteriorate my health ever further, which was unfortunate and slowed down my very small chances of recovery. Even so, it didn't matter, because what happened and where did I go after around 2 years of investing myself and my life into my blog and tumblr family? One day I started a new treatment, and another I woke up a different person - and I am proud to say I got better. Not 100% fully recovered the way I was before, but so much better that I was able to start living a normal life again. I went back to school, my marks and work load shot up, and a brand new and fresh social life took over my time. As I got better I was still around here and active as much as possible, but as I got more and more busy it became more and more difficult for me to keep up with everything. It all happened so fast and was rather overwhelming to take in, all of a sudden I found myself no time for my blog anymore. Should I have announced that I was leaving and not just have abandoned my life here without a word? Yes! Of course I should have, but that's the whole thing. No I didn't see tumblr as just my savior while I was sick and that was that. I had another life here, friends and passions that I had discovered. Never did I intend on leaving it behind when I got better and started to live my life again. One thing in my life just came straight after the other and soon I was buried in new adventures and it was all so unexpected that I just really did needed to catch my breath before I could even realize that hey, I haven't been on my blog for ages, that's kind of not okay! And when I did I still just did not have the time to come back, and honestly - I still don't. But I owe you all this post and have for a long time now. Really I want to say that I miss you all terribly and `I miss giffing and I miss editing and I miss having screaming matches about my favorite ships with my friends here who felt my same strong emotions towards them. But we all have to move on at some stage and the truth is that a doctor can only do so much to help us, I have to pull my own weight too, and look after myself if I'm ever going to have a chance at a full health recovery. I need to continue focusing on getting better more than anything else in this world. Sickness is a journey, and recovery is just as much of a whole other story. I can't delete this blog, it means too much to me and reminds me that this is what got me through some of the worst times of my life. For that I am forever grateful. So all in all I'm so sorry that I haven't been around, guys. Things happened. I know none of you ever really knew that I was unwell at that time, I was very secretive about it, and during the rare times that I did feel a little stronger at the time, I made sure that showed on here. But I can truly say that I have moved on and am no longer burdened by letting people in. I promise to return here whenever I have the chance. Even if it is very seldom. 

I want to say thank you so much to everyone here, you all mean the world and more to me. I want return and be more active on here again at some point, I really do. I just have to find a balance, which is difficult and so as of now I unfortunately can't commit. But I am going to see where things take me this year and do my best. If anyone does want stay connected you can always drop me a message in my inbox which I will check when I can and/or I will give you my Instagram and you can give me yours if you have :) Lastly, a special mention for one of my best friends in the world, Fern (paulweasley) you and I have stayed friends from the moment we met on here up until now. I know this friendship will last a lifetime. I love you so much bby, thank you for absolutely everything! XO

(If anyone feels like reblogging this it would mean a lot as I would love for all my old followers to be able to see it too. Only if you want to though of course :)

Love you all <3 <3 <3