hey neil idk if you’re the best person to ask but i would like to think you have some sadge advice or something. as an introvert how do you deal with going to funerals and that whole interaction with people trying to support people and people trying to support you? It’s all strange and weird to me. thanks.
You remind yourself that this is not a usual thing for anyone, and that everyone is dealing with their own personal reactions to what's happened, with grief or loss or just the weirdness of it all. And you look after yourself.
And take refuge in things that people say. "I'm sorry for your loss", or "May their memory be a blessing" or "Thank you so much" when people offer their own condolences. It's formulaic but it works.
At my mother's funeral, I found things to do. It helped--looking after other people, making sure my dad wasn't alone. It's an awkward, weird situation, but sometimes, people tell stories.
When my one grandpa died, I learned his nickname was Mane, because he had fantastic hair. When my other grandfather died, his friends brought pastries and told funny stories. (He was a prankster.) Stories can help. And sometimes, you learn cool things. (I have so many good stories to tell about these two. But they're in-person stories.)
People often don't know what to say, but I always appreciate when people say something. "May their memory be a blessing" is such a perfect sentiment, imo. But regardless, kindnesses always matter.
Also? You are allowed to step outside and take a breather. You're allowed a break. You can disappear if you need a minute. It can help with the Overwhelm.
Don't forget to eat. That's usually the first thing that goes out the window for me, when I'm stressed or sad.
When friends die, if I can, I send food to the family. Because nobody thinks to cook, nobody thinks they are hungry, and sometimes it removes a problem that people didn't even know they had.
