literally why is being alive so fucking hard

People might like to call themselves a boy instead of a man because:

I wonder what Jenna Marbles is up to.

T H R I V I N G

ʍoǝɯ

This is important

Something amazing will happen to you in May 2019.

Yes, give me this energy✨

when no one is noticing how cute you are

not necessarily a title but instead of saying “ladies and gentlemen” i generally like to say “friends and associates” or if youre unsure where everyones loyalties lie you can throw in a “friends associates and enemies” to keep it spicy and inclusive

instead of shaming women into shaving and putting on makeup society needs to start bullying more men into……like……at least wearing deodorant 

SHAME MEN INTO WASHING THEIR HANDS AFTER USING THE RESTROOM! I DONT CARE IF YOU “”DIDNT TOUCH IT”” WASH YOUR FUCKING HANDS

prettiest girl in the creek

Her rival.

Friendly reminder that if you shake hands with a guy you shouldn’t eat or touch your face until you’ve washed your hands.

this isnt some Feminist Joke, btw, they basically teach this in food safety since so many guys think its fine to not wash their hands after they’ve touched their dick

THIS IS TRUE AND I HATE TOUCHING ANYTHING AT WORK

I have to share this now.

I work at a tech company. One project had me interacting with a software engineer that kept installing new versions of the project over his previous work, causing us all sorts of headaches. I told him this was the software equivalent of cooking a meal after using the toilet, and he was making us all sick.

Fast forward a bit. I’m coming in to work and pass this individual on the way in to the gowning area/locker room/restroom (we have showers and changing rooms at work). He enters the bathroom area, washes his hands, THEN uses the toilet, and then LEAVES.

I can do nothing but stare disbelieving at his back. What is going on? Does he think the order of the steps isn’t important, as long as he does them? Is he doing this to spite me because of what I said?

The answer is none of the above.

Dudes just be like that.

One of the first pieces of advice my doctor told me after I became immune compromised was to avoid shaking people’s hands but especially the hands of men. The second piece of advice was to go plastic and avoid handling cash ever, but especially cash back from clerks who were men (so if the clerk was a woman and I had cash I needed to offload go ahead and play roulette but credit/debit only if the clerk was a dude).

Then they showed me a study about the restroom habits of men complete with bacterial/viral/fungal cultures taken from hands of men who did wash, who didn’t wash, and who claimed to wash but hadn’t actually. It was real gross, y'all. There was a similar study for women but even the women who didn’t wash their hands had less contagion because they were not directly in contact with their genitals.

So like, big pass from me on hand shakes in general.

???

I am…wow. That’s a wow from me, dog.

yes

reblog if you support cats tucked up in bed

Y E S

Fun fact: Tenochtitlan fell in 1521. From 1603 onwards, large numbers of honest-to-god fricking Japanese Samurai came to Mexico from Japan to work as guardsmen and mercenaries. 

Ergo, it would be 100% historically accurate to write a story starring a quartet consisting of the child or grandchild of Aztec Noblemen, an escaped African slave, a Spanish Jew fleeing the Inquisition (which was relaxed in Mexico in 1606, for a time) and a Katana-wielding Samurai in Colonial Mexico.

Also a whole bunch of Chinese Characters BECAUSE MEXICO CITY HAD A CHINATOWN WITHIN TEN YEARS OF THE FALL OF THE AZTEC EMPIRE.

Hilarious Reasons Why Every Cat Owner Should Get A Glass Table

I need a glass table just for this reason now

@snarkymonkeyprime @kiriei @sanepsycho240

Clearly a furniture piece I’ll need