simon’s friends: why did you do it, simon?

simon: I was closeted and not ready to come out and martin was threatening to out me to the entire school if I didn’t help him slightly inconvenience you

simon’s friends: okay but wHY

simon:

a modern fma au where the kids are always quoting stupid vines and mustang is in a perpetual state of confusion 

edward, about alphonse: this bitch is empty. YEET

roy, crying: what is “yeet”

edward: you can’t sit with us

ling: actually, megan, i can’t sit anywhere. i have ｈｅｍｏｒｒｈｏｉｄｓ

roy: whos megan??? let him sit

winry: fr e sh a voca do

roy: please… explain…. please

also please consider the kids doing abstract memes and roy still not knowing what is going on like ed doing the T pose and roy being so confused like “what the fuck is fullmetal doing????”

or ed and al referencing videos like “how many layers of irony are you on” or “hey andy sweetie”

There were literally too many good responses, I am DYING, here are my favorites. Every time I go back there are more gems

@mixolydianmode @nilla-waffer

@demasc

bram when he sits next to simon on the ferris wheel:

Me: “How can I help you today, ma'am?” Client: “Is e-mail internet”? Me: “I beg your pardon?” Client: “Is e-mail on the internet? I have no internet, can I still read my e-mail?” Me: “Well yes, you must be able to get online to view your e-mail.” Client: “Oh, dear. I can’t see my e-mail.” Me: “Well, let’s see. Can you open up Internet Explorer for me and tell me what you see?” Client: “Open what?” Me: “Your browser, can you open up your browser?” Client: “My…my…?” Me: “What you click on when you want to browse the internet?” Client: “I don’t use anything, I just turn my computer on, and it’s there.” Me: “Okay. Do you see the little blue ‘e’ icon on your desktop?” Client: “You mean I have to start writing letters again?” Me: “I’m…what, I’m sorry?” Client: “I don’t have any pens at my desk. I just want my e-mail again.” Me: “No, ma'am, your desktop, on your computer screen. Can you click on the little blue ‘e’ on your computer screen for me?” Client: “Oh, this is too much work. I’m too upset. Just send me my e-mail. Can’t you send me my e-mail?” Me: “We…okay, ma'am. Can you tell me what color the lights are on your router right now?” Client: “My what?” Me: “The little box with green or possibly a couple of red lights on it right now - it’s most likely near your computer?”

Client: “Lights and boxes, boxes and lights, just get my e-mail for me.

Me: “My test is showing that you should be able to get online right now. Can you tell me what you’re seeing on your computer screen?” Client: “It’s been the same thing for the last two hours.” Me: “An error message?” Client: “No, just stars. It’s black and moving stars.” Me: “…Do you see your mouse next to your keyboard?” Client: “Yes.”

Me: “Move it for me.” Client: “Move it?” Me: “Yes. Move it.” Client: “My e-mail!”

This post gave me a fucking ulcer.

You meet people like this at the library. People who have been coming in every day for YEARS to use the computers and monopolize your time with conversations like this, that seem to go out of their way to avoid listening to anything you try to teach them because they’d rather you just do it for them.

So one day, this tiny, frail little woman comes to the desk with a huge folder of papers under her arm. She says “I need to use one of the computers,” and I’m like “alright, I’ll set you up with a guest account.”

And then she says “I’ll also need you to show me how to use a computer. I’m 97 years old and I’ve never even touched one before, but I need to file my health information and they told me I needed to do it using this,” and she holds out a little scrap of paper with a url scrawled on it in a shaky hand.

And I’m just mentally like ‘oh no,’ but I say of course I can help her. So I sit her down and sign her in, and she stops me to ask basically what the mouse is, and I explain it, but I’m just thinking that this is going to take a million years. But I start doing a quick and dirty run down of the parts of the computer, the programs, the desktop, what a url is and what the Internet is, what a search engine is, what websites are, and so on.

She doesn’t interrupt or ask any questions or anything, and then I’m like ‘okay let’s go to this url’ and it’s an interactive, multi-page form that she needs to put all that info in her folder into and submit, and I’m just terrified as I’m explaining it that I’m going to spend all day with this woman.

But she’s just like “alright. I think I’ve got it.” And she must have had a secretary job back in the typewriter days, because she just *whips* through the first page of the form and submits and goes on to the next, and tells me she’ll find me if she needs me.

She came over once to tell me she needed an email address and wanted to know how to set one up - I told her about her options and she picked Gmail and went back to the computer and set it up all by herself, and got her information all filed properly in about an hour and a half – and she’d NEVER used a computer before in her LIFE.

When she was done, she came over to ask me how to turn it off and I showed her and she thanked me for being so patient, and I told her quite honestly that I’d NEVER seen a novice adult pick up using a computer so fast.

And she said “oh, but it’s so simple! And so useful! My grandkids made it sound so difficult, but I’m going to pick up my own computer tomorrow!”

And I think she must have, because I never saw her in the library again.

Anyway I hope I’m that quick when I’m 97.

^ thank you for sharing this very positive experience because the experience from OP really gave me a headache. it was nice to end on a positive note.. gives hope

A nice reminder that the older generations ARE capable of change; they often just don’t want to put in the effort to learn.

PSA

Reading up on sea witch spells and seeing people suggest putting offerings in bottles and letting the sea carry then away.

This upsets me.

It’s littering. Please leave your offerings on something that’s not harmful to the environment. A sea shell, rock or even just on the beach. Please don’t use anything that could cause harm to the ocean or its inhabitants. Thank you!

Not to hijack, but all offerings in natural spaces should be planned to be safe for the environment it’s going into. This is why I’m partial to offerings of water or other consumable fluids–if it’s safe to go in my belly, it’s probably safe to pour over some plants. 

Yes. Stop telling people to bury things in jars, particularly . Bury things in (unbleached) paper towels, or the insides of bell peppers. And don’t bury things that won’t degrade. There are so many ways to do witchcraft that doesn’t involve burying things that won’t decompose!! If you can, opt to recycle the item, or better yet, just change out all your spell ingredients for stuff that is eco-friendly and able to rot if buried. Srsly.

THANK YOU!

to add: making bowls or balls of ice to bury or to be carried awayby the sea. Use unbleached paper towels or banana peels(if it’s safe) to write your spell on, etc. There are many safe ways to do magic without littering.

You can also use cabbage leaves and cotton kitchen string in place of a jar, or write your spell on a piece of un-coated (like not metallic, etc.) paper and fold it into an origami creature because the paper will degrade

It’s 7am and I cackled

somebody had to do it

( from @skatingviktor ‘s [post] )

two types of relationship

in 1994 when green day first became famous, they invited pansy division, an openly gay punk band, to open for them for the entire dookie tour knowing full well the responses would be mixed. in 2016/2017, on their revolution radio tour, green day chose only female led punk bands to open for them to help create recognition for these artists in a male dominated scene. this band has always been using their voices for the right reasons and i love them so much for that.

And Against Me! Is opening for them too! A band fronted by a trans woman! Fuck yeah Green Day

If I’m not mistaken, there was a prom somewhere that was cancelled one time because a lesbian couple wanted to go, so Green Day rented a venue and had a prom for them. Not sure about accuracy, my mom told me about that

yes this is true as well!! green day helped to fund and organize this second prom when the first one was cancelled. the second prom was actually open not only to the students of the school, but also to any other lgbtq+ students as well as supporters in the state of mississippi who wanted to attend as well!!

Billy Joe Armstrong once literally leapt into the crowd at Green Day show and drop-kicked a guy who wouldn’t leave a girl alone.

i’m so glad that i lived long enough to witness Green Day validation

save for yourself and for future generations

reblog to save a life

For any lovelies with graduations coming up 💕

8/13/17 this angel made my entire life. Words can’t even begin to express how much I love Scott.