Insert Witty Reference Here

Woody: Look, Mr. Xanax, I don’t give a darn tootin’ about this heart and darkness ta- LOOK THERE’S THE KINGDOM HEARTS!

Xehanort: Where?!

Woody:

ScreaMING

security question: what was the last name of your first grade teacher?

my first grade teacher hacking my bank account: i’m in

why is this so fucking funny 

it’s a joke

honestly can we talk about that scene in death note where L sends out a death row criminal to impersonate him on live TV, and Light responds by killing him and going “haha, i just killed your smartest detective, police!”, only for the real L to come on air and be like “hi yeah that wasn’t me….. that was a no-name criminal that you couldn’t have heard about in the news….. also this isn’t actually an international broadcast it’s only in the kanto region in japan…. so you must live there…. also now i know that you need a face and name to kill somebody… so you can’t kill me……. k bye” absolutely legendary. what a goddamn moment

okay so, me and a friend were talking about lush and they saw that one of their facemasks contained garlic as the main ingredient and we started to wonder if lush had like, something against vampires or something so i sent an email to lush askin if they r pro-vampire and they actually replied back lmao

i cant wait to get a boyfriend, im all prepared. i punched some holes in the lid of this jar and i put some grass and a twig in it

Options for interacting with others on tumblr 

Golden hour

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Vagabond by dongho Kang

hmm? what’s that? oh, you don’t like my seeds? *evolves into a fruit that bears no seeds but is now a monoculture that is especially susceptible to pests and disease* how about that idiot 

Don’t vague post about bananas you scum

*opens tinder*

*sees the name “Brantleigh”*

*closes tinder*

*reopens tinder*

*closes tinder*

Hey I’m having an aneurism

I don’t even have anything to add with this one

…drittney?

it’s drittney bitch

it’s drittney ditch

hi linda i just caught my son vaping,i am shaking gplease respond

Wait you have a child?

not anymore helen i took care of it

it’s the most wonderful time of the year: the Literary Review’s Bad Sex in Fiction Award

I AM DYING!!! AND THESE ARE ALL WRITTEN BY MEN, PUBLISHED AUTHORS, SO I DON’T WANT NOBODY COMPLAINING ABOUT SEX SCENES WRITTEN BY FANGIRLS EVER AGAIN!!

me when i finally watch the old hollywood classic that everyone berates me about never having seen before