me: accidentally hits my lock screen button while watching youtube

youtube: you wanna get youtube red?? you fucking dumbass?? you really think you can play videos in the background without youtube red?? you fucking useless bastard.

What did you say, ma’am?

Lady Bird (2017) Dir. Greta Gerwig

self care is listening to Africa by Toto for 22 hours straight, staring into the void until all your feelings, impulses, muscles, and skin melt away and you are but a pile of bones vibrating along to 80’s synth wave

minority culture is being labelled too political because you dont want to be friends with people who literally dont think you should have the same rights as them

We’re afraid that we will never escape our past. We’re afraid of what the future will bring. We’re afraid we won’t be loved, we won’t be liked. And we won’t succeed.

Lady Bird (2017) dir. Greta Gerwig

Donald Glover for New Yorker Magazine

My favorite sign from the Women’s March.

what not getting out of bed really feels like

NTs often believe that when you don’t get out of bed you’re just lying around comfortably like ‘ahh this is nice’, when in reality it’s:

• aching muscles

• feeling like you want to get up and walk around but you can’t

• running out of things to do without having to move and descending into this really bad kind of boredom where you feel like all you can do is stare at a wall and think about how much you hate yourself

• dissociating

• getting really sweaty

• –> smelling bad

• not going to the bathroom until your bladder feels like exploding

• not eating or drinking properly

• always feeling either to hot or too cold and just not finding a solution

• rolling around, not being able to find a comfortable position anymore

• feeling like your whole body is trying to tell you to be active while your brain is blatantly refusing it

• thinking about how you could’ve read like 3 books by now but haven’t and don’t want to start one either

• being irritable and angry

• falling asleep and completely messing up your already poor sleeping schedule

• eating chips or other snacks in bed, getting crumbs everywhere and still feeling them days later

• feeling like a failure

+ many other things

“Cars kill more people than guns! What’re you gonna do, regulate cars next?”

You idiot. You moron. You utter buffoon.

Cars ARE regulated. 

The permit test. The permit. The practice year. The regulations on how many hours you have to drive and at what hours and with whom. The driving test. The license. The requirements regarding insurance. License renewals. Road laws. Highway laws. Speed limits. Seatbelt laws. Carseat laws. Laws against drinking and driving and other forms of intoxication. Red lights. Not passing in intersections. Right of way.

WHO can drive and WHEN and HOW and WHERE are all regulated, because yes, a car in the wrong hands can kill a person. Just like a gun.

Oh but wait, there’s more!

I, as a licensed driver, can’t drive anything I want. I can’t drive a motorcycle. I can’t drive a speedboat.

You know what else I can’t drive? One of these.

To drive a semi-truck, I would need a Commercial Driver’s License or CDL. There are age limits involved, as well as required hours of training and study. There’s a written test and a driving test. There are also medical requirements.

And even if I passed all that, you know what I STILL couldn’t drive? One of these.

To drive a semi loaded with hazardous materials, you would have to get a federal H endorsement added to your CDL. And to get that, you have to jump through even MORE hoops, including another written test and a background check.

So yeah, guns should be better regulated. Any Joe Blow shouldn’t be able to stagger down to a gun show and get himself a sweet piece without some oversight. 

And ESPECIALLY no one should be getting their hands on a semi-automatic assault rifle like an AR-15, aka the Hazardous Semi Truck of guns. There are professional reasons that a person might need clearance to handle and own such a weapon, but not a civilian. Not an unscreened rando off the street.

Try not to be such an utter wanker that you place the mere potential of a power-boner over the lives of actual children like those killed in Parkland, Sandy Hook, and elsewhere.

There’s also the fact that if I fuck up and injure, or even KILL someone with my vehicle, or another person’s vehicle, or a vehicle I’m not even supposed to drive in the first place- I CAN AND WILL BE PUNISHED FOR THAT.  I will be made responsible for that damage/death.  Insurance exists to help cover the costs of damages- both to cars and people.  If my negligence with a vehicle leads to someone’s injury or death- my access to vehicles in the future WILL BE COMPROMISED.   .

So yes… we do regulate cars.  We also regulate the DAMAGE CAUSED BY THOSE WHO DRIVE THEM.

also, cars are meant for transportation. sure they can kill people but their sole purpose is not to kill. a gun’s ONLY PURPOSE is to maim or kill its target. you can’t take a road trip on a gun or load up a gun with groceries. fuck outta here with this bullshit comparison.

kill ceasar

WHY WOULD THEY CUT THIS?????

This is legiterally the funniest thing snl has done in decades

I don’t know what we did to deserve Mr. Rogers but I’m so glad we had him.