wanting to talk to people is so fucking embarrassing. literally hi it's me again I wanted to have a conversation with you because I think you're fun to talk to. oh god you can just fucking kill me if you want sorry

nothing will ever be a better roast than “Kevin and I talk about your intricate and endless daddy issues all the time” imo neil really ate w that one

your man doesn’t have the mental strength to caramelize onions 

your man thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions

Who’s fucking carmelizing onions?

Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

your man thinks caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions

World heritage post

pov you're jean moreau

i-

I think adults need summer vacation. Like let's just close down all our jobs for three months and play outside. Please. I'm so tired.

Love to see this post getting notes again. None of us are ok.

some of my favourite sign fails <3

One of my favourite moments in tsc

we ask that the defense not say "me when i lie" while the witness testifies

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

i sent this meme to 7 people, and 4 of them asked me to translate for them. i legitimately do not think that was necessary.

Nothing gives the same kind of random ego boost like managing to finally clean up your home and making it nice. Like ooh look at me, I'm living like people do, I made myself iced tea and I am eating my snack from a real plate. I got floors and shit.

Let’s hear it for the girls!!

yes jeremy

+ bonus

mwaaaah ! In these trying times.