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eleventh plague. emails. 

Pharoah, I hope this email finds you letting my people go

as per my last plague,

More women

Thank god they decided to make more

Wow

Dolly Parton has really been hard at work

But In doing so…she created her biggest enemy…Jolene

"You should be at the club" Direct exposure to the club would kill me instantly

"You should be at bar trivia night" This I cannot deny

sick of hearing about "healing crystals" that "cleanse your mind and body of negative energy" i want to know which rocks can hurt you and fuck up your vibe so bad

everyone suggesting uranium isn't wrong but anyone who said "literally any rock if you're willing to resort to violence" are the only people who can get on my level. you're hired.

caincore

okay which fandom that sprung up out of nowhere overnight like mushrooms after rain is this a reference to i can't keep up anymore

oh you meant like. that guy from the bible who invented murder. right.

(◡‿◡✿)

(ʘ‿ʘ✿) “what you say ‘bout me”

(ʘ‿ʘ)ノ✿ “hold my flower”

✿＼(｡-_-｡) “Kick his ass, baby.  I got yo flower.”

i found it

the original post

i found it

this should have the opportunity to be on everyone’s blog. 

*tour guide voice*

and here on the left ladies and gentlemen, you see one of the posts before everyone went batshit crazy

World Heritage Post

Everyone here is dead.

You roll up to the Wizard Battle and your opponent takes out his spellbook but it’s just one of these

I'd leave. This is a sign that my opponent has the most fucked up unethical spells imaginable, and I am not about to be subject to Malchezar's Piercing Prostate Bomb or something

can they like release new vegetables 

So was anyone gonna tell me the Greek navy still has a fully functional trireme?

Her name is Olympias! She was built in 1987 and can sail up to 17 knots (30 km) per hour!

Olympias weighs 47 tonnes, but is remarkably agile, able to make a 180 degree turn within one minute. Everything but the bracing ropes was constructed of the same materials as in ancient Greece. (They used steel instead of hemp rope for cost reasons.)

Experiments with Olympias have helped us understand the capabilities of warships from ancient Greek and Roman times. Triremes like her were built for speed, maneuverability, and aggressive ramming. (Her beak alone weighs 200 kg.) It appears that many of the seamanship feats described by Thucydides were indeed possible!

Olympias is now an exhibit at Naval Tradition Park in Palaio Faliro, Athens, Greece. She's usually dry docked these days, but I've found a couple videos of her at sea!

The massive continuity of duck (boats)

I like the term "still", implying that this is some kind of literal ship of theseus that somehow survived 3,000 years.

“hey bruh lemme stuff this toilet with ps1′s. im gone kill the tumblr game with this one”

What?

Namari Dungeonmeshi

did y'all know pigeons die when they have sex?

What.

i mean. every pigeon i've had sex with has died

Couldn’t sleep the other day. Drew one of my favorite scenes

just learned that magnolias are so old that they’re pollinated by beetles because they existed before bees

They existed *before beetles*

Why is this sad? Why am I sad?

https://xkcd.com/1259/

This is how I feel about Joshua Trees. They and avocado trees produce fruit meant to be eaten and dispersed by giant ground sloths. Without them, the Joshua Trees' range has shrunk by 90%.

(my own photos)

Not only they, but the entire Mojave ecosystem is still struggling to adapt since the loss of ground sloth dung. their chief fertilizer.

Many, many trees and plants in the Americas have widely-spaced, extremely long thorns that do nothing to discourage deer eating their leaves, but would've penetrated the fur of ground sloths and mammoths. Likewise, if you've observed a tree that drops baseball or softball-sized fruit which lies on the ground and rots, like Osage Oranges, which were great for playing catch at my school, chances are they were ground sloth or mammoth chow.

You can read about various orphaned plants and trees missing their megafauna in this poignant post:



First quote from the linked article. Found it poetic.

"For one species to mourn the death of another is a new thing under the sun.”   ~ Aldo Leopold

“For small creatures such as we, the vastness is bearable only through love.”     ~ Carl Sagan.

watching the Thing and like

it’s a mound of flesh, right? and it keeps forming eyes capable of looking at you. and the longer you look at it, the more openings appear. and at first the openings are full of what looks like legs, which move aside to reveal a flower, which unfurls to reveal a fleshy orifice studded with teeth moving towards you with great power and longing.

and it’s like, the central tragedy is that none of these men know each other on a level intimate enough to see through the imitation. when keith david turns and asks them how they’re supposed to tell if he’s an imitation or not, none of them can honestly say that they know him well enough to test how deeply it runs; he may as well be a stranger to him. when baby slut kurt russell mentions that the long johns could be anybody’s, it means that he isn’t able to tell whose they are by taking a good long whiff of the crotch and armpits. the secret weapon that could have successfully circumvented the thing was the time these men should have spent intimately exploring each other’s bodies. I have a job interview tomorrow. I need to get this out of my system now.

having by now gotten the job for which I was interviewing, I think where I was going with this was that, the constantly moving shifting expanding de-categorizing of the Thing is its own horror vehicle by virtue of the fact that every other body in that film very much wants to be its own discrete category, unknowable and untouchable to the other bodies around it. and the more you look at the Thing, the more there is of it; the more openings it has, the more eyes it will form for which to see you, the more limbs it will form for which to touch and know you. and these men do not want to touch and see and know each other. they do not want the joyous erotic sound of each other's stevie wonder albums to enter their ears. they do not want the joint that touches their lips to touch the lips of another man. the first and only horror of the Thing is its drive to touch and know and queer the coherent category that is the human body. I will be washing dishes in the back of a bakery while blasting mongolian throat singing if anyone has any further questions.