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End Me

@yikesmangtg-blog / yikesmangtg-blog.tumblr.com

Devin | any pronouns | INFP | NYC
Wtf is all this
this blog is running on queues
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moist-ache
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beingbreannaleigh

“I’m a non-Christian living the South, I can’t even go to a god damn potluck without having to thank some space fairy for the broccoli casserole, and honey, it makes me a little uncomfortable.”

I’m WHEEZING.

This is me at every family gathering.

OMG I DIDNT KNOW THERE WAS ANOTHER ONE???

Edit: I dunno how to upload from facebook so check this one out too (x)

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stereofeathers
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lookathernow
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yoncevevo

I’ve never seen this full ad I’m happy I did because I just witnessed Hilary swiping this bitch bald

I remember my 13-year-old gay self watching this and being scalped

I can’t believe Hilary Duff ended homophobia Iconic

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thefuuuucomics

The Year 2028

Pokemon Go has rid the world of obesity. Everyone knows everyone in their neighbourhoods. Loneliness is an archaic concept. All national borders have been erased so players can search for pokemon unrestricted. There is no war. There is no suffering. The planet is finally at peace. 

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aicosu

Some Pokemon Go Tips

Just some things I’ve learned that when I share some people don’t seem to know yet! 

  • CATCH DUPLICATES. Catch them and then return them to prof willow. You can do this by clicking on the pokemon’s stats, scrolling down and hitting transfer. You get pokecandy for this which you can use to evolve/power up your original! 
  • Make sure you compare and contrast CPs of your duplicates. One pikachu might be 10cp and the other 56cp. Keep the higher one, transfer the other. EDIT NOTE: Also check the move set! Some pokemon with lower CPS still have better/different moves! So compare contrast these too!
  • EDIT: EEVEE’S EVOLUTION IS RANDOM (and limited to vaporeon, flareon, and jolteon all of which you can catch in the wild too.) Sources say that Eevee evolves based on it’s second move! Body slam = jolteon, swift = vaporeon, dig = flareon.
  • Pokestops refresh every 5 minutes. (SPIN the picture to get your items) You can visit them for an unlimited amount of time. I live right on top of one and check back in whenever I remember to. YOU DONT HAVE TO CLICK ON EVERY ITEM. Once they drop from the picture, press X and you will collect them all automatically. 
  • Leveling up will give you LURES, INCENSE AND INCUBATORS. So don’t think you NEED to buy these from the shop. 
  • If your wary about spending money for coins, you can GET COINS by having pokemon in gyms. This is the ‘defender bonus’ Theres a shield icon in the shop section that you can refresh every 21 hours. You can have up to 10 pokemon in 10 diff gyms for a total of 100 pokecoins and 5000 stardust a day.(10 Pokecoins and 500 stardust per pokemon)
  • Your gym alliance makes it so that ANY GYM you fight of your own alliance, your pokemon WILL NOT FAINT.  Their hp will reduce to 1 and they will need healing, but they won’t faint. You also gain gym prestige this way which helps strengthen your alliance territory. Any rival gyms however will faint your pokemon and they will need a REVIVE to keep being used. You can also transform them into candy at this point if you are a heartless monster. :( 
  • EDIT: A gym has a max of 3 pokemon traners/defenders. note on the gym level: you can have as many defenders as the level of the gym, three is NOT the max. so if you happen upon a full level three gym, you can train there until it levels up and then add your own defender as well. have had luck with this up to level 5 thus far! If you find a gym of your alliance with only 1 or 2 pokemon in it, you can ADD YOUR POKEMON WITHOUT FIGHTING YOUR FELLOW TEAM. Just drop a pokemon in there! (Do this by clicking the bottom left icon of ‘add pokemon’)
  • More than one trainer can fight one gym leader at a time. Getting a friend to fight with you is the best way to beat the gym!! You attack at the same time.
  • ITS NOT TURN BASED ATTACKS. Its real time! Click once for a basic attack, swipe to dodge, and hold down a click for a SPECIAL ATTACK!
  • My best method is not to dodge at all but just click forever. So long as I have a bigger CP I usually win lol. 
  • Do NOT put your best pokemon into a gym. Your second or third only. You cannot recall your pokemon once its in a gym and you will need it to fight other gyms.  (they get returned to you after they are beaten)
  • Everyone gets one free incubator that lasts forever. Any extras you find or receive from leveling up only last 3 hatches before breaking.
  • TRACKING POKEMON! Sparkling grass doesn’t guarantee a pokemon showing up. The ‘nearby’ tab is the actual tracker. It pulses to indicate it updating. The highest on the list is the closest. 3 footsteps away means THREE RINGS (the area rings around your avatar) away (or more). 2 footsteps means TWO RINGS, one footstep means one ring and NO RINGS MEANS YOU CAN CLICK ON THAT POKEMON AND IT WILL APPEAR IN 10 SECONDS.
  • Battery saver mode, found in settings, works as follows: Once clicked on, if you drop your phone to your side as you walk, with the top of your phone facing the ground, the screen will dim so only the pokemon logo shows. It still tracks your steps for your eggs and it will vibrate and beep when a pokemon shows up. As soon as you lift your phone to your face (right side up) the screen will appear again as normal!
  • The higher level you get, the more rare pokemon you come across.

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO EDIT AND REBLOG WITH NEW/MORE INFO!

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mediocreferoxiace
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daftalchemist

did I ever mention that I know someone whose family owned a zombie dog because that’s some real shit that I get to delight with at parties

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themintywitch

Tell us that story?

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daftalchemist

okay here is the story of the zombie dog

this dog’s name was John. they found him half drowned in a bag of puppies that were not so fortunate as he was, and was taken in immediately. he was a runt and not quite right (most likely from the whole half drowned thing), but a very loving dog. the problem with John was that he smelled like death, and no one knew why. vets couldn’t figure it out. it was obviously some kind of skin problem, but they had no idea what kind. all anyone knew was that if you touched him, you would smell like death too, so you couldn’t pet him, and that for some reason, the only thing that made the smell go away was being around other dogs. so they got another dog and the death smell stopped and John lived a very happy life

when he was getting old, maybe about 15 years, part of his skull caved in. just like that! suddenly had a huge dent in his head! and he was totally fine. didn’t notice it, didn’t affect him at all. just this massive dent right there in his head where his skull had collapsed in on his brain, and he was still the happiest and most loving dog. the skull cave in, for whatever reason, caused the ear on that side of his head to just fall off entirely, but again, perfectly happy dog who did not know he was down an ear and a fully formed skull. they took him to the vet, thinking maybe they should put him down. I mean, wouldn’t you think so? but the vet said that the dog was eating, and pooping, and happy, so there was no reason to put him down, so they didn’t

but that’s not even the weird part. the weird part is the area of the brain that got caved in on was apparently the area that registers pain, so this one-eared, collapsed skull dog could no longer feel any pain. he got old, his joints got stiff, his teeth rotted out of his head, his tongue hung out of his mouth and got black and hard, and he felt none of it! in fact, he was happier than he’d ever been feeling no pain, and the fact that he didn’t feel how much he was falling apart somehow made him live until he was 23. that’s right, the collapsed skull, one eared, zero teeth, smells like literal death when alone dog lived to be 23 years old. they used to joke that he’d been dead for years, but was too stupid to realize it yet

and that’s the story about the literal zombie dog my friend’s family owned

I'n simultaneously delighted, alarmed, a little horrified and impressed all at once.

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changkyunnnie

Suga in kindergarten

fireman: ok kids, how do we stop a fire
Suga: you put my mixtape on pause
fireman: shut up Yoongi
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roseroyalty-moving

what i say: im sensitive

what i mean: my mental illness throws everything out of proportion and my emotions are extremely unpredictable and even the slightest thing going wrong literally makes me want to die

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bulkycamera
JK Rowling: I shall name him my villain Voldemort. It is French for "fleeing from death", indicative of his primary desire to become immortal, and the fear that motivates him.
JK Rowling: These two characters can turn into a black dog and a werewolf
JK Rowling: theyre called black dog and werewolf mcwerewolf
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blueevileye
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myboyfriendpetebuttigieg

All animals go to heaven is just illogical planning. You’re telling me every crocodile that ever lived is in heaven? Heaven must be swarming crocodiles. Does that sound like heaven to you? Thousands of millions of crocodiles?

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zooophagous

*SLAMS FIST ON TABLE*

YES, DAMMIT

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rashkah
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skidar

And Steve Irwin is showering them all with affection

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hntrgurl13

But does every Stingray go to heaven? I mean, what if Steve Irwin just randomly came across the Stingray that killed him?

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skidar

Steve would probably pat it and say ‘Sorry I spooked you mate, gosh your a beauty! You must have grown three times since I last saw you!’ 

We never deserved Steve Irwin

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