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the ocean wants its salt back

@asmollampshade / asmollampshade.tumblr.com

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the kids arent supposed to go in the cubbies unless they really need something but these 2 girls were sitting in there lookin mischievous so i go to investigate & theyre huddled around this like magnadoodle where one of them is writing “PISS” in big ass letters

artistic rendition

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There’s a theory that early Europeans started saying “brown one” or “honey-eater” instead of “bear” to avoid summoning them, and similarly my friend has started calling Alexa “the faceless woman” because saying her true name awakens her from her slumber
English has an avoidance register used in the presence of certain respected animals, which sounds fancy until you realize it’s spelling out w-a-l-k and t-r-e-a-t in front of the dog.
Mx. Leah Velleman on twitter

Icelandic folklore requires you avoid saying the names of evil whales, otherwise you’ll draw their attention.

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fidoruh

Yall have evil whales?

Iceland does! They are the illhveli, literally “evil whales”, and they live to kill you. They love nothing more than killing and eating humans and sinking their ships. Their greatest enemy is the steypireydur (that’s blue whale to you), which is the greatest of the good whales and the protector of sailors.

All evil whales are, well, evil. So evil that if you speak their name at sea, they will hear it and home in on you. So instead you use all sorts of euphemisms for their names. Also if you try to cook their meat it literally disappears from the pot. That’s right, they’re so evil, you can’t even eat them.

They include such types as the hrosshvalur (horsewhale), with big eyes and a red mane and tail. This is probably the best known and most feared of the lot.

The raudkembingur (redcomb) is especially cruel and bloodthirsty even by illhveli standards. If you manage to escape it, it will die of frustration.

Good luck escaping the mushveli (mousewhale) though, it has legs! And will clamber onto the beach in pursuit!

Or what about death from above? The stökkull (jumper) leaps high into the air and pile-drives boats to pieces.

Meanwhile the skeljungur (shellwhale) sits in the path of boats and lets them get wrecked on its shelly hide…

… while the sverdhvalur (swordwhale) slices through boats with its dorsal fin.

The katthveli (catwhale) is relatively harmless though. It meows.

The same can’t be said of the lyngbakur (heatherback), a classic island fish that lets sailors get on its back and then dives, taking them to a watery grave.

The nauthveli (oxwhale) on the other hand specially targets cattle, attracting them into the sea with its bellow before tearing them apart.

How can you avoid all these murderous whales, like the taumafiskur (bridlefish) here? Any of a number of ways, including getting a steypireydur to help. There are substances, ranging from angelica to sheep dung and chopped fox testicles, that they find abhorrent. And you can distract them with loud noises and barrels.

For more, I assure you this link will answer all your questions.

This is also why fairies were referred to as the ‘Good Neighbors’ and why there are so many nicknames for Satan.

The concept of avoidance speech is endlessly fascinating and rife with plot points for writing, but honestly I’m just thrilled about the EVIL WHALES.

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What Dracula adaptations are about: Victorian beauty, romance, gore, gentle kisses in the night, other gothic poetry stuff

What the book was about: A group of friends and their weird kooky grandpa kill Dracula to avenge their collective dead girlfriend

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autosadist

elon musk will die and grimes will inherit his fortune and call herself like the blood queen and when their grusk baby grows up it will try to kill her.

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teanne

next wow expansion sounds cool

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reblogged

Royal houses where every single member has the same horrible horrible face is one of the funniest developments of monarchism 

well, maybe that wouldn´t happen if they weren´t so heckin inbred

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sleepnoises

okay you know that scan/photo of a teen girl’s diary entry that goes like “wore yellow dress today. chris keeps trying to talk to me even though he KNOWS i’m not interested! ugh! man landed on moon.” anyway that’s the mood

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seraphasia

THIS person is valid, as is their grandmother

Woke up today and groaned at a few people being Wrong on the Internet. Clocked into writing center orientation from 10:00-12:00. Fascist insurrection stormed the Capitol.

Fucked up yet predictable that this post stays relevant

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vedajuno

The wikipedia page for The Coleman Frog is a but a single paragraph but what a paragraph it is

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bonedaddy-o

How dare this go around without the image attached

this is it im dying how could anybody believe this is a real frog

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