so a tourist in Italy is fulfilling her lifelong dream of seeing the birth of venus, her fave painting, in person. and while she’s there a Hot Girl strikes up a conversation with her and she loves art and is charming and they talk until the museum closes. they exchange numbers. the next day the birth of Venus painting is stolen, nobody knows who stole it. so anyways, the two girls continue dating and are happy and shit? and on their one year anniversary her girlfriend reveals that she’s an international art thief and she stole the birth of venus after meeting her. tourist girl flips and wants it returned she doesn’t want to just. hoard the art so nobody can see it. so then art thief has to do a reverse heist where she sneaks the painting back into the museum without getting caught

Bear in mind that the Birth of Venus is like 15 feet tall and 30 feet wide…

why would you have to do a reverse heist instead of like thouroughly cleaning it of fingerprints, DNA and other trace evidence and then just quietly dropping it off round the back underneath a tarp and a note attached

because she’s gay and loves drama don’t ever question me again

Botticelli would have wanted this and you know it

He had the goddamn time of this life doing this didn’t he

sometimes you gotta ‘its not that deep’ yourself

The porcelain games (via /r/BlackPeopleTwitter)

and yes but what a shame what a shame the poor groom’s bride is a 

Is this the kids bop version

same energy:

Serena Williams’ Hubby Tries to Get the Scoop on Her Perfect Edges

Serena’s fans recently asked her husband, Alexis Ohanian Sr., to reveal the secret to her maintaining those perfect edges while in competition and to check around the bathroom for the magic edge control that keeps her hair laid while sweating and exposing her natural tresses to excessive heat and wind.

This is cute

I love that we only talk to him when we’re asking about serena

[14/?] (insp.)

Keira Knightley 20 January 2018

Does anyone else remember the story about that poor lesbian who came out to her mother and her mother cried and said “it’s all that damn Keira Knightley’s fault, I knew I shouldn’t have let you watch pride and prejudice as a child” because I’m really feeling that now

Yes

Bonus

I’m screaming

More

Ok but I LOVED Pride and Prejudice as a kid (still do) and I normaly hate romantic movies. Also loved Pirates of the Caribbean and rewatched it all the time, this explaines a lot.

“This is my first cabbage! You know, a lot of times they’re kind of soft, but this one is solid! It’s going to be good eatin’!“  “What are you going to make with it?” “Well, this one I’m giving to my parents. You have to give the first one away or you just spoil the whole spirit of gardening.”

always reblog cabbage lady

raise the happiness level of your entire dash

THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY EVERY TIME I SEE HER!!

She’s back!

The lock is a mini knob I can’t handle this

Don’t turn me or my son ever again.

President Obama tries to get a driver’s license

this is funny

his face in the last one 😭😭😭

I don’t care about your political beliefs, but just compare Obama’s sense of humor to Trump’s fat shaming and jokes about disabled people and goddamn I miss Obama.

Sigh…