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DownMySpine

@downmyspinee

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roygaylock

I need a two hours long video of Alyssa teaching Bianca how to talk like her

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What do you want? (Four words, four syllables, four bullets in my chest.) What do you want? To destroy this feeling of hunger; I can no longer pretend that the lion in my gut is so easily satisfied. To forgive my mother for never teaching me to love myself. To stop leaving poems unfinished. What do you want? To stir the salt water in my chest into a hurricane that rages against my ribs. To feel something other than the apathy that gnaws on my bones. To claw myself out of this grave I’ve dug in my pitiful self-loathing. To see the sun in my skin, radiant and warm. What do you want? To never again say my name like an apology.

Emily Palermo, A Collective List of Things I’ve Denied Myself (via starredsoul)

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I have existed in silence for an eternity, a head full of thoughts and lips sealed and locked with a key drowning in the depths of doubt and fear and all the monsters that kept me awake at night. I should have screamed when you left until my lungs burst and the air flew from my body, just like everything else I thought I needed. I should have told you that I was terrified because you set my nerves on fire and my heart was so full of just you— the feather curve of your lips, the veins of your hands, the ladder of your spine— that I could feel it ripping in the places I had stitched together when my fingers were steady and my head wasn’t an ocean crashing and breaking against the shore. I should have whispered that you had stopped waking up from feeling like a chore, that you were a hurricane that shook my armor into skin and my steel bones into porcelain. But you see, there is a graveyard in my mouth filled with words that have died on my lips.

Emily Palermo, I DON’T WANT TO BE QUIET ANYMORE. (via starredsoul)

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