I owe every single one of you an apology.

I have lied to every single one of you. 

This is not my life. A bigger person than I am would spill everything, but please know that I can't, mostly for the sake of my family, but I owe you all an apology and at least this much of the truth.

In the beginning, I invented this because I wanted people to see me the way I wanted to be seen at a point in time when I didn't understand anything about myself. For a while, it worked, but in the long run, it just ended up confusing me further and hurting good, genuine people.  Eventually, it became easier to function as this.

Those of you who I could call friends were better friends than I deserved and do deserve now. I want you to know that any caring I felt towards any of you was genuine. And I do thank you from the bottom of my heart for the opportunity to know you, no matter how you feel about me now. My goal is not to mend this. Only to provide closure so that you all can close this chapter in your life and move on. Some of you are lucky enough to not be deeply attached to me. Or the me that I invented. I hope that you are able to forget me easily.

But I know that I've fucked up a lot of different parts in a lot of different people's lives. More than anyone, I owe Tessa Belanger, Justin Clatterbuck, Oliver Jordan, Erik Phillips, and Candace Bradley an apology. I'm sorry. I cannot possibly convey how sorry I am to you, and I realize that I cannot know the extent of how much this has hurt you.  I can never understand how much I hurt anyone involved.  

Please know that it was not my intention to trick or coerce anyone into anything. This should have stopped before it started, and I've realized that for some time now. 

Thank you to those of you who brought this forward and forced me into confessing this. It's needed to be done for some time now.

I'm sorry to all of you. I realize you owe me nothing, but if you can, just try your best to remember that I am a human being, too. A fucked up, idiotic, misguided one, but still a person all the same. 

This Tumblr is now empty except for this post. I will leave it up so that no matter who you are, if are here, you will know.

Thank you again for the chance to know all of you. I don't ask that you remember me in a good light, because frankly, I don't deserve it. Please don't remember me at all. If you can, please lose no sleep over this. Forget about this existence as much as you can.

I'm sorry. I take full responsibility for all of this, and you'll hear no more from me from here on out.