you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

One of these is not like the others

i love it when a character decides they want to live, actually, and gets their wish in the most monkey's paw be-careful-what-you-wish-for "too little too late" way possible

the paradox of self-destructive survival

wyd when i pull up in this

(violently jerking the steering wheel) my car swerves like crazy when i do this

worst part about getting angry is how much it makes you want to be mean

sorry i said something dickish. a few mildly frustrating things happened to me in succession and it turned me evil

Being on your phone in bed at home during your free time: this sucks I'm wasting my life away what am I doing

Being on your phone at work:

THE SUMMER STORMS BABE COME QUICK THE SUMMER STORMS

i mean this from the bottom of my heart: no one is impressed by your loud ass car. actually we talked about it and we all want you dead.

Visual representation of listening to a popular song when you heard the Weird Al version first

“Oh the people are gonna love this” I say making the most niche piece of media art work that is really only for me,3 people ,and a plastic bag that blows in every so often

hey you 🫵

make ur personal dashcon for all I care. as many snacks and as much nudity n weed as you want for whichever scenario lol. go nuts show nuts yknow? or whatever we used to say

what U guys need to understand about me is that i think with my clit and also i have a poet’s soul

> looking for a new lgbt club

> ask the president if the lgbt club is john waters or our flag means death 

> she doesn’t understand |> pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is john waters and what is our flag means death

> she laughs and says “it’s a good lgbt club sir”

> attend a meeting 

> it’s our flag means death

walking for an hour is a such factory reset for when you want to kill yourself shoes on coat on hands in your pockets and keep it moving playa