*y o u d i r t y b r o t h e r k i l l e r.

naughty goats get the noodle horns

This is exactly how writing every single one of my papers in college went down.

This is exactly what being an adult at work is like.

This is important.

you guys really just don’t check your fucking phones huh? you don’t give a fuck and a half about your notifications? you just carry it around with you everywhere but don’t actually go on it? maybe someone texted you. maybe you received an email. maybe you need to take your daily duolingo lesson. but no, you really just can’t be bothered. fuck you

The Duolingo owl wrote this post

i love humanity and our weird obsession with making drinking various liquids very hard to drink, for the fun of it

me about to do some dumb shit in front of my friends

september is coming up so here’s your yearly reminder to leave billie joe armstrong the fuck alone

My youngest sister always comes up to me and cheerfully says “you smell like (insert food item)!” Why do I smell like food to her?????

She’s a cannibal

Well shit.

Emo fight or flight response

Edit/Bonus:

It’s called flight response cause it makes you run from your past

it’s really funny how many people on here make jokes about anti-vaxxers and flat earthers but they practice astrology at the same time even though it’s literally the same pseudo-scientific bullshit

Looking up your horoscope doesn’t give kids polio.

Oh, hello! We didn’t get a chance to introduce ourselves before.

Boy that’s how you do a damn remake

internet celebs

Nordic mythology is so fucked up. 

I am a: ⚪️Man ⚪️Woman 🔘Non-Euclidean mass of eyes and tentacles Looking for: ⚪️Men ⚪️Women 🔘Library books

I know that’s you Hermaeus Mora, you daedric piece of shit.

I love how there are two approaches to stealth games, it’s either no bodies for the guards to notice or no guards left to notice the bodies

NERDS

I swear I thought of this like two seconds after posting the last set and for some god-awful reason felt compelled to make a comic of it

Kurogiri is a good momther :>