she think my tractor scary

she’s doing god’s work

real talk why do so many fantasy universes think giant spiders are necessary

The sad part is there’s a decent chance a large proportion of them can be blamed on one spider.

The tarantula that bit JRR Tolkien as a child.

He swore he didn’t have a spider phobia and the experience had nothing to do with the man-eating giant spiders in The Hobbit, the even more giant and even more man-eating spider in Lord of the Rings, or the unholy eldritch spider from outside creation that plunged the world into darkness and made literal Satan scream like a little kid in the Silmarillion. Very few people believe him.

Given LotR’s influence in the fantasy genre, there is a high probability that tarantula is the progenitor of even more fictional spiders than Ungoliant was.

wow fuck that one tarantula

“fantasy universes have too many spiders” factoid actually just statistical error. Georgs Spider, who bit JRR Tolkein & is to blame for menacing over 10,000 fantasy universes, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

“got snap?” i have an address where you can send me roses and love letters mf act grown

they all hate me for my pathetically small bong

Whatever

thats not a bong thats a bing

received this incomprehensible email from my ornithology professor

the fucking eagles got him

FAT TITTY TUESDAY HAS BEGUN YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO

Survive

Welcome to Tumblr, Twitter users!

Don’t worry, we don’t have Elon Musk here… 

But hipsters beware, you’re in for a scare!

*GOOSEBUMPS THEME INTENSIFIES*

This isn’t Twitter. This isn’t your average every day site. This is Tumblr. We’re crazy. We’re weird. We don’t fit in. We’re the fangirls, the fujoshis, the Superwholockers, and the Steven Universe Critical bloggers. We forgot what “normal” was. So if you’re expecting a normal website…

Love eternal 🥺 Loquatious and Laerryn

leader trio that all refuses that they are the leaders but still take charge in every conversation and plan

10 year old me after watching one episode of h2o: just add water

The most relatable moment from spongebob for me is when he went over to Sandy’s house for the first time and was too polite and socially nervous to tell her he was slowly dying

I’ve invented ‘The Knife-Wielding Tentacle'👍

“if anybody would like to volunteer to come and turn it off, that would be just fine by me”

@fake-bird

@lanternlighting When did your brother get an english accent?

(x)

my laptop: *starts hissing and wheezing and got her fans whirring on high speed*

me:

i want a cute boyfriend and $500,000