𓆩♡𓆪

every prehistoric human reconstruction has me thinking “I want to smoke weed with this bitch”

she looks like she would have been an awesome neighbor, like she would have loved menthols and called me baby

“a Cheeto could have killed a Victorian child” but the opposite. Neanderthals would have loved to go to Hardee’s and get a burger with me.

neanderthals would have walked hand in hand with me into hell (buccees opening day)

When I saw this article two years ago and found out Neanderthals were seasoning their food 70,000 years ago, I teared up thinking about how they never got to try things like beef jerky and Doritos.

Corn was domesticated around 9,000 years ago and cheese was invented around 7,000 years ago. Her entire species went extinct before the basic ingredients to create cheese flavored corn snacks were a twinkle in humanity’s eye. That’s part of the reason finding out Neanderthals and early modern humans were creating complex dishes to maximize flavor and texture 70,000 years ago is so wild to me. 

kafka was so right i literally could have built the pyramids with the effort it has taken me to cling onto life and reason

happy Mother’s Day to these two queens

Shelley Duvall and her pet lizards

Is all

Retail

probably the funniest insult ive ever seen. still to this day

Evidence of my dog sharing her food with a stray cat she pretends to scare away when I’m there

bees?

to elaborate:

- her parents didn't belive she was hearing "monsters" in the walls. it was 60,000 bees

- she is 3 years old

- her parents gave her a spray bottle to "spray away the monsters". it was 60,000 bees

- they didn't belive her for 8 minths

- removal cost them $20,000 BECAUSE IT WAS 60,000 BEES!!!!!!

tricking the police sketch artist into drawing fanart of the character i like

The deadpan. The bafflement. The fluster. The complete ignorance and change of topic- hey wait a second

ALT

reposting this from twitter bc it's making me lose my mind