the sheer level of galaxy brain jane austen was on when she wrote “if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more”

i love having secrets for no reason that arent scandalous or sensitive…like going to cvs but refusing to tell anyone at all abt it bc i decide that information is just for me bc i feel like it

today i hung out w my 15 y/o brothers girlfriend and i jokingly was like “tell me embarrassing stuff about him” and she was like “ok. he has a piss kink” and was 100% serious and i almost crashed the fucking car

my brother making direct eye contact with me across the table at christmas dinner in front of everyone including my grandma: sarah is very popular on tumblr.com. she has very popular posts

mooching off the government is a good thing actually. what the fuck else are they gonna do with the money? buy more bombs?

Working from home in 2020

haven’t seen this on tumblr yet, and tis the season

[caption] driver, muttering: god damnit, it’s paul. driver, at full volume: mornin’ paul! paul, cheerfully: the world will be reduced to ash! driver, muttering again: jesus christ that guy creeps me out. [/caption]

[additionally the driver is brian david gilbert, paul is a skeleton sitting on a bench with its arm sticking in the air, and the voice of paul is also brian david gilbert]

AHA THIS SLAPS

#they associate this stance with love

the horse has been caught at last

Hospital Board To Vote On Letting It Back Into Hospital, Not Certain His Presence in Hospital was as Bad as We Thought

Hospital Board Revealed To Be Made Entirely Of Horses

my kink is bein friendly and havin a good time

1995 Gay Olympics sketch from the mid-1990s Australian comedy show Big Girls Blouse.

The full clip is incredible

Oh look, I found a summary of the entire Harry Potter series:

I’m in this photo and I don’t like it