The moon is beautiful

How Bert snapped

Ernie: “My waste paper basket. Bert, have you seen my waste paper basket?”

Bert: “Ask me that again and look into my eyes.”

these puppets are more real than real people

The Lion king 2019

Me watching the teaser: OH MY GOSH THIS LOOKS SO GOOD I CANT WAIT TO SEE THIS IN THEATERS!

Me internally: Oh god I’m gonna have to see Mufasa die all over again……..this time in CGI.

When ya girl bisexual

Alright this is my definite favorite version of this, ever.

what the fuck

They removed the fucking sfw/nsfw toggle

Fuck this website

That means that them saying they banned nsfw artists was a “glitch” has to be them lying through their teeth.

Tumblr staff has always been fucking incompetent but this is a new low.

This isn’t even them being incompetent. This is Tumblr staff being sleazy and dishonest. Fuck them.

They got rid of bigdeadrevived I’m pissed now.

Does anyone have a good alternate site?

Many are going to newgrounds.

I’ll check it out, thanks!

In the meantime, I’m going to revive my old twitter account and start using it until it replaces Tumblr.

https://twitter.com/RachneeOfficial

I will celebrate by retweeting monster girls.

bi women what is ur wisdom tonight

John Mulaney, a man who is iconically known for loving his wife, after being told by Jerry Seinfeld that his wife only thinks shes good at something

Well done OP, you’ve managed to capture the moment John’s spirit left his body

Jerry’s lucky that John is too polite to throw hands

Okay but I just went and watched this for myself and it’s WORSE

He’s. So uncomfortable. It’s obvious. I cut out the part where John kind of muttered, “That is true, isn’t it” about how all men think they’re funny, but his face is just screwed up in this ‘oh god what have i done what have i signed up for this is not good and this will probably go into my next comedy special of awkwardness’

Just watched this omg bless john bc jerry just keeps trying to do some “take my wife” bullshit and john very politely goes no, no.

proud of John for restraining himself from murdering a man on camera

What’s so horrifying about this to me is that this is literally Jerry Seinfeld trying to teach John Mulaney how to gaslight his wife.

Look at that dialogue. “She thinks she knows.” He’s trying to get Mulaney to see his wife’s expertise as instead a weird misperception. He’s coaching him to undercut his wife’s confidence in the truth and her own abilities.

And Mulaney replies exactly the right way: “She does know.” He asserts not only that she’s perceiving the world accurately, but that she is an expert at something he’s not good at.

Dudes, don’t take this shit from other dudes. Mulaney isn’t by any means perfect but he aced this. Stand for the truth. Defend women’s objectivity. Promote women’s expertise.

Doesnt his wife also work with antiques too?like. Isnt that part of her actual job?

I reblog this every time because I don’t think people understand that Anna is literally an interior designer. She makes absolutely stunning Victorian Lampshades. Which she designs.. for the interior of a home… she’s literally an interior designer. She doesn’t think she’s good at it, she knows she’s good at it because it’s her fucking job

Jordan Blue has a bright future. I hope Google searches haunt his classmates for the next few years. #WTFWisconsin

I see some people saying “this is a joke” and I just want to say IT DOESN’T MATTER IF IT’S A JOKE

How do you think Jewish people, people of color, LGBTQ+ people, etc feel they see a bunch of white men gleefully performing the nazi salute? Do you think that makes us feel safe? Or do you think it makes nazis feel safer about doing the nazi salute, because they can just dismiss it “as a joke” if they’re criticized?

Richard Spencer, the nazi who keeps getting punched, was videotaped saying “Hail Trump!” as the supporters in the crowd did the nazi salute. People to this day are still doing it sincerely and it is still hurting people.

It’s not a joke. It’s absolutely abhorrent and should be treated as such.

Not to distract from this, but in Baltimore last night, a man stood up in the balcony and screamed “Heil Hitler! Heil Trump!” And did the salute during intermission of Fiddler On The Roof, knowing the Hippodrome would be full of Jewish people coming to see a play about Jewish people.

People cried. People were triggered. People assumed they were going to get shot. In the end he was just thrown out, which upsets me because he should have been held in jail for causing mass panic akin to falsely yelling “Fire” in that theater.

It’s never a joke.

They say it’s a joke, but will be the first to start crying when ppl start showing up to their doorstep like they did to Tucker Carlson

where’s that comic of Illidan cooking the turkey cause I haven’t seen it yet today and I haven’t reblogged it yet for this thanksgiving

thanks

Reblog this fat happy boy for a good night sleep tonight

Nothing bad happens if you don’t! Just a cute good luck charm

All dogs are beautiful

(Source)

god i just found this again while folder cleaning

one of the few crossdressing ducks that didn’t make me break out in hives, on account of not having been forced to do it for emasculating reasons or anything, it’s just a practical solution to daisy having too many obligations since they look exactly, and i mean exactly the same

one of those obligations was manning a kissing booth for charity and donald punching a catcaller in the face escalates into guys just fucking lining up to get decked by a cute little duck

get on his fucking level, mickey

#mickey: who’ll have to endure this humiliation#donald: who’ll get to wear the pretty dress

GET ON HIS FUCKING LEVEL, MICKEY

@modmad 

Slavic Cossack dancing known as Hopak 

Warning: Do not try this at home unless you were born with super Slavic knee strength 

THE GUY AT THE END

Ahahah it’s not just knee strength you need, friend. It’s thighs, ass, ankles, calves, you need everything from your waist down to be horrifyingly fit and toned for this.

Also core strength. So include the waist. Everything from the nipples down. 

Don’t forget absurd back flexibility

daydreaming is often a coping mechanism for people who are often lonely or don’t receive a good amount of love in their life, so they make people inside their heads that will love them so they can feel the right amount of love.

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT’S BACK ON MY DASH.

THIS SHIT WORKS OKAY, I AM DEAD SERIOUS.

The last time I saw this on my dash, I didn’t think it would happen, so jokingly I wished I could go to a fun. concert.

AND GUESS WHAT, I WENT TO A FUCKING FUN. CONCERT.

THIS SHIT WORKS, TRY IT.

YOOOOOOO

I SAW THIS ON MY DASH THE OTHER DAY AND THOUGHT “ITS WORTH A TRY” SO I WISHED I COULD GET A 3DS

LITERALLY LIKE 4 DAYS LATER MY DAD SENT ME A PICTURE OF THE 3DS XL HE BOUGHT FOR ME WHILE I WAS AT SCHOOL

IM STILL FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS

holy fuck, I didn’t expect this to work, I was like psh, whatever it’s just a quick reblog, but I wished my Dad would actually respond back to me AND HE FUCKING DID A FEW DAYS LATER, I GOT A FUCKING TEXT FROM MY DAD TODAY WHO HASN’T SPOKEN OR RESPONDED TO ME IN MONTHS HOLY FUCK WHAT IS THIS MAGIC IT WORKS. 

I WANTED TO SEE MY BOYFRIEND AND I DIDN’T THINK I’D GET DAYS OFF BUT THIS WEEKEND I’M HEADING UP THERE??? THIS IS CRAZY SHIT 

SO LIKE I JOKINGLY WISHED FOR MY OWN LEN KAGAMINE AND THEN LIKE A WEEK LATER I GOT A LEN NENDOROID??? H ELP

WTF OKAY SO THIS SHOT ACTUALLY WORKS BECAUSE WHEN I WISHED, I HAD WISHED MY CRUSH WOULD LIKE ME BACK AND GUESS WHAT? I HAVE A BOYFRIEND NOW. WHAT THE HELLLLL?????

ok I’ve said this before but IM DOING IT AGAIN THE FIRST TIME I SAW THIS, MY WISH DID COME TRUE SO I REBLOGED AGAIN AND SAID IT IN THE TAGS BUT THEN I WISHED FOR SMTH ELSE AND IT LITERALLY LITERALLY HAPPENED LIKE A COUPLE DAYS LATER WHAT THE HELL SO NOW IM WRITING THIS HERE FOR YOU BC I DONT BELIEVE IN THIS CRAP BUT STILL IT’S AN AWFULLY BIG COINCIDENCE

THE BOY I FELL I LOVE WITH LEFT TO TRAVEL THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD AND HAS BEEN GONE NOW FOR 3 MONTHS. WE HAVENT SPOKEN SINCE BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO MAKE HIM FEEL TRAPPED TO ME AND NOT ENJOY HIS TIME SO I WAITED FOR HIM TO CONTACT ME FIRST. I SAW THIS ON A PARTICULARLY LOW DAY WHEN I WAS MISSING HIM SO MUCH I CRIED FROM THE PAIN, GUYS I REALLY LOVE HIM, SO I THOUGHT MEH WHAT THE FUCK, AND WISHED HE WOULD JUST LET ME KNOW HE WAS OKAY.

GUYS.

HE FUCKING CALLED ME 20 MINUTES LATER

20 FUCKNG. MINUTES. LATER.

GOOD THINGS DO HAPPEN. AND ITS IN THIS POST.

I wish for someone to leave something in my ask.

OKAY SO I ASKED FOR A HEDGEHOG AND NOW GUESS WHO HAS A PET HEDGEHOG

i really hope my wish comes true

my last two wishes came true, one more couldn’t hurt

SO I WISHED FOR AN IMAC THE LAST TIME I DID THIS AND A WEEK LATER MY MOM SURPRISED ME WITH AN IMAC. HONESTLY SHE DIDNT EVEN KNOW I WANTED ONE, I DIDNT TELL ANYONE, IT WAS AN EARLY XMAS PRESENT. Wow this works

THIS THING ACTUALLY WORKED FOR ME SO IM DOING IT AGAIN

I wish i could drive

I wish i had a bigger dick