Oops. (via hitstreak)

I need volunteers

For what?

I’m going to the airport wearing an expensive black dress with a diamond necklace and glasses of champagne in both hands, waltzing through, casually reminding my chauffeur to haul my bags in for me. I need 4-5 attractive people (race+gender doesn’t matter) wearing clothes that are not better than mine, and cool sunglasses begging me not to leave, on their knees, barely grasping my dress because they want me to stay but at the same time they know the dress is worth more than anything they can ever afford. Turning around every so slightly and almost spilling, but not quite all the way there, my champagne, I’ll laugh and say quite loudly, “darlings I have to visit my ACTUAL husband!”

how do i get in on this

Bruh the struggle was real even for cartoon supervillain ducks from the 1990s

this is literally my thought process like all of the time

the worst part abt growing up is realizing how shady almost all the adults were in harry potter

Not Minerva McGonagall.

She was the real fucking deal.

You are absolutely right.

GOOD

GO GERMANY FOR OWNING UP TO WHAT THEY DID AND TAKING THE STEPS TO STOP IT FROM HAPPENING AGAIN.

first time in forever that i’m proud of my country

I have a friend from Germany who personally admits their fault and apologizes anytime it’s brought up. She’s like yeah, we fucked up. Mind you we’re 21. She personally had nothing to do with it, and still she apologizes.

compare that to white americans who respond with “what about black on black crime?” and “not my fault, i didn’t do anything” and, my personal favorite “shut up nigger…”

@ white Australians who say “why do we need to apologise for the stolen generations, it’s not like WE did it!”

“gays are ruining the sanctity of marriage”

WHY DOES IT HAVE HANDS

“not all men” you’re right. jake peralta would never.

#wrong he would and then he would learn from it and not do it anymore bc the writers have managed to capture realistic character development

Boring white people are pressed about Beyonce’s first pic with the twins because of course they are lol.

This bitch said share home photos like Princess Kate, like they didn’t shut down the whole city when the baby was born?!

LET HER HAVE HER MOMENT WITH HER BABIES.

Man found the stoplight cameras were activated during yellow lights and decided to cut the wires of it.

Florida Man: Chaotic evil. New York Man: Chaotic good.

it’s really funny how many people on here make jokes about anti-vaxxers and flat earthers but they practice astrology at the same time even though it’s literally the same pseudo-scientific bullshit

Looking up your horoscope doesn’t give kids polio.