trust issues.

sorry i was late i can’t conceptualize time

An accurate representation of my social skills

Astronaut Leland Melvin includes his rescued dogs in best NASA portrait ever.

I’m so glad he rescued those dogs from space

so i work at lush and the most famous person i’ve served so far is adele. one day i’m just standing there moving some bubble bars and pretending to look busy when suddenly this lady comes in with her child. i think “she looks like adele if adele didn’t wear make up” whilst i go over to greet her. she asks me what a bath bomb is. i think “hmm, she is very unexpectedly cockney, like adele.” halfway through my description of bath bombs i realise holy fuck it’s actually adele, and i end up saying “so these are bath bombs, you drop them in the water mnnnnnnand theychangecolour n fizz…..do stuff……..” and i think she realises i suddenly know who she is because she gently but firmly tells her son to pick a bomb. she gets some for herself as well. i put her through the till and i realise she looks very tired, so i don’t want to bother her, but holy fucking shit this is adele. i’ve ugly cried so many times while warbling her beautiful songs. she’s unwittingly been there through some bad times for me. i want to say something but i’m not sure what, so i fixate on her bright woolly vest and blurt out “i like your vest!” and she immediately replies, very chipper, “aw fanks it makes me look like a rare bird!” she departs and i stand there shaking while i whisper to my colleague that that was adele. this reaches the back of the shop where a birthday party for a bunch of 14 year olds is going on and my 19 year old colleague just shrieks “WHAT” at the top of his voice. all the girls clamour asking if we have security cameras to prove it actually was her and i’m like, the proof is that i have suddenly become 10 times emotionally stronger after being in her presence. i have absorbed her self love and all of my exes have crumbled into dust, dissolving away like the bath bomb she’ll be using later on that very night

yeah i did like 100 push ups today

i want to do a transformation tuesday but alas i am still ugly

Can we please talk about the experiment who just made sandwiches throughout the entire series on Lilo & Stitch

look at him

friendly reminder that Rube had the same powers and strength as stitch, but had a higher intelligence resulting in him being able to speak perfectly….but instead of being obsessed with destroying cities…only cared about making sandwiches… 

use your powers for good not evil kids

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:-)

Azra.T “Don’t Wait Three Days to Text First.”  (via cultivate-solitude)

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Join my first ever favourites!

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The police who lock our local cemetery gates didn’t check for people before locking them today. Needless to say, it was embarrassing having to call for help and explaining that we were locked in playing pokemon go…

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There are two types of English people. - via http://ift.tt/2cqnE9a